Tuesday, March 04, 2008

LETTERS FROM HELLSING VII

The next few weeks truly are still, well, hazy. I was in a hospital drugged to the gills on pain killers really not paying much attention to much of anything.

People came and went. Sometimes they talked to me, asking me strange questions. Sometimes they stood around my bed and discussed me as if I weren’t even there which, in all fairness, was close to accurate. Often I would hallucinate conversations with people and things that could not possibly be there. At least I think they weren’t really there. It’s hard to tell what’s real when you're hallucinating. I think.

The boy cam to see me once or twice. I know at least that much was real. I remember him holding my hand. His name is Richard. Such a big name for such a little boy. My little boy...
God how I miss my little boy.

The tall man came once, late one night. He said very little to me. Just pulled back my covers to inspect his work while reading my chart. He gave a satisfied grunt and pinched me on my cheek.
He held a brief conversation about me with someone standing in the doorway. She, the figure in the doorway, seemed angry with the man that I was still alive. Demanding to know exactly what he had done to me, why he had done it and what was I?

Good question

He would only say that he had made a deal with her God.

This seemed to make the woman angrier which seemed to amuse the man.

"But what is she? What are we to do with her?"

"She will be my angel and she will be very .... useful to us. You will see."

"Useful how?"

"You will have to figure that out."

"This isn’t a game you know."

He ignored her and looked back down at me. "You will keep your word, won’t you angel?" I nodded feeling slightly apprehensive. Which, considering my level of medication, is amazing.

He bent over the bed, touched my cheek and smiled. "Good girl." he murmured and was gone.

The shadowy person was still in the doorway. I could feel the annoyance rolling off of her towards me.

"What did you promise in exchange for your life?" She demanded, addressing me directly for the first time.

"To obey God’s will." I said.

"God’s will?"

"Yes."

"What does that mean?"

"He made a deal with God."

"What was the deal?"

"I don’t know."

"What is your part in the deal?"

"I don’t know."

"What are you supposed to do?"

"I don’t know."

"Then how...?!"

"God will show me."

With a snort of disgust, the shadowy figure stalked away.

Relieved that the angry voice was gone, I drifted back into a pleasant, drug induced stupor.