LETTERS FROM HELLSING XLI

That afternoon at tea, Walter had a most interesting suggestion as to how I could help Seras.

"It's a long shot." He said, as I fiddled with the rubber tubing included in the box of materials he had gathered together for his plan. "But I think if you are the one making the offer, she just might accept. She will will see it as an act of friendship not charity or duty."

"Possibly." I said dropping the tubing back in the box and glancing at the needles with distaste. "But why all the steps?" I asked reaching for my teacup. "Why can't I just let her..?"

"No." He said firmly. That would be most unwise."

I stilled my hands, cup halfway to mouth and looked at him questioningly.

"We need your actions to be intimate enough for Miss Victoria to feel comfortable feeding but still maintain enough distance between your providing the blood and her drinking it so that she knows your are willingly providing food but does not think of you as the food itself." He locked onto me with his steely intense gaze and said calmly but forcefully. "If I were even to suspect that you were considering letting Miss Victoria feed directly off of you, I would separate the two of you immediately and forbid any further contact between you permanently. Is that understood?"

I opened my mouth but no words came out, speechless under his onslaught.

He softened a bit. "Ms. Doyle," He said, gently removing the rattling teacup from my hand. "my concern is for your safety. What we attempt here is dangerous and, if done improperly, could cause irreparable harm. Miss Victoria is close to the breaking point otherwise I would not even consider this plan and I certainly would not consider involving you Ms. Doyle, if I did not trust you to proceed with all due caution."

He refilled my teacup and handed it back to me. "I would not wish to lose either one of you."

I smiled at him feeling a bit warm and fuzzy. 'How sweet.' I thought. "Thank you." I said, taking a sip.

"Yes, Sir Integra has charged me with the care of both yourself and Miss Victoria so it would be quite remiss of me to allow one of you to massacre the other in a frenzied bloodbath. She would be very annoyed at me to say the least."

My warm and fuzzy moment died. "I see." I said.

"Very messy. Quite inconvenient."

"OK, I get it!" Just couldn't leave it at warm and fuzzy, could you Walter?

He smiled slightly then his expression grew intense once again. "In all seriousness Ms. Doyle, if you have any doubts, any doubts whatsoever, please do not feel you must go through with this. We can always try something else."

"Is there another plan at this time?"

"Not as such, no."

"Well then, why don't we go over precisely how this is to be done." I said, putting down my teacup and handing him a syringe.

******

We sprang out plan on Seras that Thursday, one of my nights off from my "special training" with Alucard. When she woke up I was to be waiting for her in her room.

She had this cool mechanical canopy bed Walter had designed for her which converted into a sort of coffin during her daylight sleeping hours. She was late in getting up so I knocked on the lid a few times to wake her.

"Go away." Came her muffled voice.

"Get up!" I chirped loudly.

"I'm tired."

"Come now." I shouted cheerfully. "The moon is shining and all the ...um, owls are ...hooting in the breeze."

"Mumble murf munf muff!"

"That's no way for a lady to talk!" I said, smacking the lid. "You spend too much time hanging out with Burnadett."

"I'm tired. Go away."

I was weary of waiting and afraid I would loose my nerve so I sat down on top of her bed/coffin and started singing show tunes but warping the lyrics.

"There's a bright silver haze on the meadow. There's a bright silver haze on the meadow..."

"Shut it!" She said banging the lid once from the inside.

"When the black, black bat comes flap, flap, flapping along. A-long!" I sang, drumming my heels in time to the music. "Come on, I've got a million of these."

"OK. OK."

"Yeay!" I said, jumping off as the lid started to rumble open.

Seras rubbed her eyes, stretched, and rolled out of bed hitting the ground with a thud. She looked up at me smiling sheepishly. She still had her uniform on.

"Late night?"

"mmumf."

"I didn't hear the bell. Another of Captain Chambers' training exorcises?"

"grumble (yawn) munf munf."

I felt a bit guilty waking her up like this but Walter said she would be at her most pliant around twilight therefore more likely to accept my offer. I was just glad she wasn't as grumpy about being woken up as I am.

"Sorry." I said offering my hand. "But I have a surprise for you."

"Mmmm?"

"No, it's a surprise. You go wash up and I'll get it ready."

While she was gone, I pulled out my supplies. Walter had shown me how to run a line into a vein on the back of my hand and had helped me carefully tape the tube down and around to the bottom of my wrist so it did not show as much. We then, very carefully, cleaned away all traces of blood.

Now came the tricky part.

I was not to draw the blood directly in front of Seras but was also not to let it get cold so I only had a few minutes. I quickly filled several syringes without spilling a drop (take that Miss Pringle!) then removed the lid from the covered tray and set about injecting the items therein with the gruesome contents. I had just emptied the last syringe and was carefully wiping my line with an alcohol pad when she returned.

"What are you doing?" She asked as I quickly swept the syringe into my supply kit. I dropped the pad in after it and sealed the lid.

"A surprise for you! Sit down, sit down." I said, smiling and placing my hand behind my back.

She looked at me suspiciously and sat down her eyes on my box. I picked up the covered tray with my other hand and placed it in front of her grinning.

She lifted the lid and stared at the contents with a puzzled frown. "Truffles?"

"Not just any truffles my dear, Lindt dark chocolate truffles, the best!"

"But I ..." she started, then her nostrils flared. She stared at the the tray a moment, her eyes glazed, her lips slightly parted, then she slammed the lid down.

"They're very good." I said, pulling one from the bag I had set aside for myself and unwrapping it.

"They're filled with blood." She said in a dead pan voice.

"Yes, I know, I filled them." I said. "With my own blood no less!" I held up my wrist. "Pretty neat huh? Walter helped me with the tape."

"It's not funny." She said, glaring at me.

"No, it's not funny." I said, glaring back. "Not funny to watch you starve yourself night after night while I stuff my face in front of you. Not funny to watch you grow weaker and more desperate for food everyday. Not funny at all."

"But your blood... I can't." She said choking.

"As you say, it's my blood. I can give it to whomever I want."

She shook her head, closing her eyes and shuttering. "You're my friend, I can't feed off of you."

"You can and you will!" I said slamming my hand down on the table. "Look," I said taking her hand and stroking it gently. "If by giving you my blood I help ease your hunger even the slightest bit, then I am glad to give it." I looked deep into her eyes. "I offer it freely as a friend. Will you accept it?"

She looked at the tray and bit her lip with indecision.

"Young lady, if you don't eat your chocolate truffles, you will be sent to bed without any dessert!"

She smiled at me, lifting the lid. "What's for dessert then? Brussel sprouts?"

"How'd you guess? Now eat before it gets cold." I said popping my own unwrapped truffle into my mouth. "These are so good!" I said through a mouthful of chocolate.

She slowly, cautiously, placed a truffle in her mouth and bit into it. I tried not to think about my blood trickling down her throat and instead concentrated on unwrapping another truffle and eating it. It was all I could do not to throw up but I could not let Sears see that so I looked at the ceiling pretending to savor the candy until the nausea passed.

Seras reached for another piece. A good sign.

By her 4th truffle, I could finally look her in the eye again, just not at her mouth while she was chewing, and we were even managing a bit of light conversation. By her 8th truffle, Seras was chattering away like a magpie. I don't know if it was the blood or the caffeine but she was wired.

I just smiled and chattered back. Even when the last truffle began to leak, I just pretended I didn't notice it. Seras quickly popped it into her mouth, wiping the blood off of the tray with her finger.

"This is quite good." She said, unthinkingly licking her fingers.

"Yes, it's very good chocolate." I said, trying to silence the gibbering monkey in my head which was screaming at me to run away. 'It's OK. It's OK. Just pretend it's a cherry cordial. But it's not! It's my blood! It's OK. It's OK. You can do this.' "We should try Mrs. See's sometime it's my favorite." 'Oh God, oh God, oh God!'

******

It was dark in the corridor outside of Sera's room, just a single light bulb to mark the foot of the stairs and even darker down towards Alucard's chambers. Not many of the staff ventured this way and vampires don't mind the dark.

Normally I wouldn't mind the dark either but I was tired and dizzy and feeling a bit disturbed so when I placed my hand on the wall to steady myself and encountered not cold, rough stone but warm, smooth fabric, I was more than a little freaked out.

I yelped and jumped back stumbling over my own feet. I would have fallen if a strong hand had not firmly gripped my arm and pulled me back upright.

"Walter?" I screeched. "You startled me." I managed to say in a more normal voice as he released my arm.

"I am sorry." He said. "That was not my intent. I merely meant to be on hand, should you require assistance with the stairs."

I looked at him uncomprehending for a moment. How could I have not seen him? I must be tired.

"It's rather dim and the steps can be treacherous."

I looked over at the stairs then back at him. Me, Walter and staircases, quite the emotional history. I smiled at him sheepishly. "Thank you. That's very kind." I said handing him the box of supplies and following him to the stairs.

"Did everything go well?" He asked, motioning me to proceed him up the stairs. He followed immediately behind and just to the left of me.

"As well as could be expected." I said clambering up the the steps. "She ate but I'm afraid I..Whoops!" I had turned my head to speak to him and tripped on the next riser. Walter's hand came up to steady me. I looked down at the glove gripping my arm and gasped. I knew those gloves. That rough, heavy leather of their fingers, the smooth reinforced plates in the palm. Those were the gloves from my hallucination in the elevator. The ones he was wearing when he... I shuttered at the memory but forced myself not to yank my arm from his grip and possibly send us both tumbling down the stairs.

Why was he wearing those gloves?

"Ms. Doyle?"

"I'm fine, just a bit dizzy. I'll be all right in a moment." I half lied.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "I can..."

"No really, I'll be fine." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. This was getting dangerously close to a reverse re-enactment of our first encounter on the stairs.

"Very well." Said Walter, lowering his hand.

I sagged with relief which caused Walter's hand to start up again. I bit my lip and forced myself not to flinch. He must have sensed something because he checked himself and stared down at his hand with a puzzled expression.

"Oh I am sorry Ms. Doyle. I'd forgotten to remove my work gloves. The plates didn't hurt you did they?" His intense gaze locked onto mine.


"No Walter." I said tightly, staring at the gloves. 'But the wire wrapped around my neck sure did.' I thought shuttering a bit. I still sometimes had nightmares.

He stared at me a moment longer. "Very thoughtless of me." He said dropping his hand to his side. "Please forgive me."

It was my turn to stare at him. The 'forgive me' seemed out of proportion. After all, he wasn't responsible for what had happened in the elevator. He had no control over Alucard's actions. Then it dawned on me that he wasn't just talking about the gloves.

Over these last several weeks, Walter had become more than just my babysitter, he had become my guardian and protector. Sheltering me, encouraging me, giving me the tools I needed to heal, to find my way. But for all his strengths, we both knew that there was one person, one thing, he could not protect me from.

Alucard.

He could advise me, console me but he could not shield me from the monster. What was it Alucard had said about Walter and his overdeveloped sense of chivalry?

My knight could not only not rescue the damsel from the dragon but had to keep sending her back into its cave, poorly armed and with very few defenses. The fact that she had volunteered did not seem to matter.

Far from decreasing him in my eyes, my hero worship for Walter only increased. I was a total heel for taking off my robe like that the other night and showing my bruises to everyone. I had let anger and spite move me to thoughtless action and poor Walter had once again borne the brunt of my foolishness by being drawn into a useless confrontation with Alucard. Alucard was right, I was pathetic and whiny.

"Walter," I said with all sincerity. "there is nothing to forgive."

There was an awkward moment of silence as Walter seemed to ponder a reply to my statement. For once, I was able to come to the rescue. I smiled and said lightly, "They are, after all, only a pair of gloves. No harm done, see?" I wiggled my arm to demonstrate. "But I am a bit hungry. Can we get something to eat?"

He eyed me for a moment then said. "Of course Ms. Doyle. What would you like?"

"Anything but chocolate." I said dramatically.

We both smiled a bit at that.

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XL

It took two soul wrenching days for Griffin to teach me to maneuver the "Tortoise" about the motor pool lot without the constant grinding of gears and the unremitting wails of "Ach! Your a kellin her gel. Your kellin her!" from Bulls. Finally, on the third day, I was allowed to take the 'pur gel' once around the course on the proving grounds and managed to only run over two "pedestrian" pop-ups and a stuffed squirrel Bulls had thrown out in front of the transport.

I slammed on the brakes, throwing Griffin out of his seat and jumped out of the transport horrified and crying (just a little) thinking I had killed it. Griffin punched Bulls hard twice on the shoulder. Once, for making me cry and then again for offering me an oil rag as a handkerchief. Bulls apologetically pulled the mangled lump out from under the treads to show me it wasn't real.

"Wow," I said snuffling a bit. "Those treads really did a number on him."

"Ah the pur wee beasty, do you think he's done for Corrine?" Asked Bulls.

"Poor beasty my as-ah butt." Said Griffin. "Your the idiot who tossed it."

"Aye, but I dinna quite realize..."

"You want me to fix him for you?" I asked.

"Can ya you think?"

"I can try." I said.

"I've got a better idea." Said Griffin tossing me up onto his beefy shoulder and shouting 'Medic!" as he ran for the back of the transport. Bulls laughed and ran along behind us the "squirrel" flopping about in his hands.

Anders came charging in after us, medical bag at the ready only to find a dismembered stuffed animal on his gurney. "You think he'll pull through doc?" was all Griffin had time to say before Anders physically thew us out of the back of the transport calling us 'juvenile idiots' and something else, in German I believe, before slamming the door shut in our faces.

We all looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"I hope he's not too mad." I said. "He already doesn't like me."

"Naw, it's good. He ain't been properly pissed off in ages."

"What do you mean? He always seems angry to me."

"Yeah, he's been an angry SOB since we got here." Said Griffin.

"Aye all mopin and morose. Specially since you shewed oop."

"Gee, thanks." I said. "I feel much better now."

"Noo, noo he's been angry ya see but he haint been pissed off proper for some time."

"You lost me." I said.

"That's cause Groundskeeper Willie here don't speak English proper." Said Griffin. "Look it's simple. Anders has always been a moody one, 'thinks too much' the Sarge says. Thinks about things guys like us shouldn't think about."

"Like what."

"like when life begins, when it ends...where you go after you die. The kind of things that might make you think twice before you pull the trigger and blow some guy's head off. Make you think maybe you shouldn't cause what if he's got a family or what if I'm going to Hell for killing some guy I've got no beef with just cause I'm gettin paid too. Then it's your brains that end up spattered on the wall cause you can be sure that's not what the other guy's thinking, he's thinking I'm gonna kill this stupid SOB before he kills me."

"Too philosophical." Said Bulls.

"Yeah," Said Griffin. "Too many books, too much thinking."

I looked at them speechless.

"Look now, you've shooked her."

"Aww, it's just the truth is all. I mean ain't none of of saints. Corrine knows that."

"No, yes. I mean, I know it's the truth. I just never thought about it that way before."

"That's the ticket Corrine. There's stuff ya just shouldn't think too close about too often. You'll just wake up screaming at night and that's no good is it?"

"Of course." I said. Pushing my misgivings aside to think about later.

"See, she get's it."

"Smart gel."

"Yeah. But now see Anders, he gets stuck thinking about these things and then gets all moody and mad cause he can't stop. Usually, we can knock him out of it by doing something real stupid and annoying to piss him off. Then he can yell and blow off steam and be OK again for awhile. Not too bad a guy. Kinda funny in a over thinky sort of way."

"Boot lately, nothing we did would piss him oof and we rella di try, you know."

"I'm sure you did."

"Yeah but he wouldn't yell. He would just get more and more quiet and more and more angry. Finally the Sarge said to just leave him alone. That he could be as pissy as he wanted as long as he did his job right. So we did."

"Till now."

"Yeah, well, the squirrel thing was just to good to miss."

"Brilliant."

"Yeah."

"Well, it was kind of funny." I admitted. "Do you think it worked?"

"I hoope so."

"Yeah, the yellin' in German was a good sign. He usually only does that when you break something."

"So now what?" I asked. We still had an hour left in my training session and Anders had locked himself, and the keys, inside.

"Tch, we rella should get er back un there afore Mr. Walter comes back."

"Yeah, with that damn clipboard lookin all dissapprovin like."

"Or the Sargent..."

"shi...oot. We gotta get her back in" Griffin looked at me apologetically. I smiled back at him. tickled at his efforts to not swear around me. 'How odd my life is.' I thought.

"Can ya jimmy the lock Porn?" Asked Bulls.

Griffin nodded. "But you'll need to distract Anders. He's wicked mean with those needles."

"Hmm." Said Bulls. "Tricky."

"We could just ask him to open the door." I said.

"Naw" Said Griffin. "Oh, I know. Corrine, why don't you.. (whisper, whisper)..Ouch!"

I glared at him barely amused.

"Fine, leave your top on. Oh, I know, you could bend over to get something and.. Ouch!"

"Or," I said through gritted teeth. "we could just ask him to open the door."

"Nooo, I dunna think so Corrine. It hasta be tricky you see."

"Yeah, like if Corrine were to..."

Don't make me hit you again."

"OK, OK relax. No nudity sheeze."

"Oooh, I know." Said Bulls, introducing a very bad plan involving a tow truck and a diffused hand grenade.

"Naw," Said Griffin. "How about..." This was an even worse plan and involved a small brush fire.

"Or," I said marching towards the transport. "we could just ask him to open the door."

"Noo, Corrine. Noo! Ye can't ask him! It hasta be tricky."

"Yeah, or it don't count. See?"

"Fine." I sighed. "I'll think of something."

"Good girl. I just need a minute, two tops, if he took the keys and I hav'ta hotwire it. "

"Don you cut my pur babe. She's been through enough."

I left them bickering,walked to the back door of the transport and knocked. "Anders?" I called out.

"What do you want?" Came his muffled voice through the door.

"Would you please open the door?"

"Why?"

" I..." I caught sight of Griffin circling the ambulance as Bulls kept waiving and tapping the side of his nose to remind me to be 'tricky'. I sighed. "I um, hit my head on the door frame when Griffin carried me into the Tortoise." I said.

"So?"

"I thought you could check it."

"Ha!"

I tapped my foot impatiently and was rewarded with a twinge where my leg had been clawed. "I ah, also think I may have ripped one of your sutures."

The door swung open a bit, Anders stuck his head out, stared at my leg a moment then said, "No you didn't" and slammed the door shut in my face.

Griffin who was now sidling his large frame along the far side of the vehicle gave me a thumbs up while Bulls was signaling me from the sidelines to 'stretch it out'. Subtle as turkey vultures, the both of them. I sighed and knocked again.

"Anders?"

"Still here?"

"Yes. Please open the door."

"Why?"

"Because you've locked us out and I have to drive us back to the motor pool before Walter or Sergent Marks comes looking for us."

Anders poked his head out the door and glared at me. "Why didn't you just say that the first time?"

"Not tricky enough?" I asked meekly.

His gaze shifted to Bulls then back to me. "Ah." He said. His mouth twitched slightly. He cleared his throat then in a loud voice said. "You think you ripped a suture you say?" He gazed at me expectantly.

"Oh, ah yes. I think I may have." I said in an equally loud voice.

"Well best come in then so I can check it." He shouted, opening the door wider and ushering me inside. He shook his head as he closed the door behind me. "So they went with the honey trap. Surprised you've still got your shirt on."

I blushed. "This was the only plan that did not involve destruction of property and or nudity."

"Ripped sutures?" He said. "Has anyone ever told you what a terrible liar you are?"

"Pretty much everyone I've tried lying to." I confessed.

That surprised a laugh out of him.

"I really did bump my head though."

"Good." He said sternly but moving over to run gentle fingers across my scalp to find the small lump.

There was some muffled cursing outside as Griffin tried to jimmy the lock.

"Idiots." Said Anders.

"They really do mean well you know." I said.

He raised his eyebrow at me.

"In an oddly perverse and annoying kind of way."

"They're not even trying to be subtle anymore."

"They're just trying to cheer you up."

He sighed. "I know."

There was more muffled cursing and small metallic grinding noises as Griffin continued struggling with the lock.

"You would think he'd be better at this." I said remembering Griffin bragging about all the cars he'd stolen as a kid.

"Not if I've jammed the locking mechanism shut." He said. "Amazing what you can do with a clamp and some surgical tape."

It was my turn to laugh. "You're like Medic MacGyver."

"Yes." He said drolly. "He'll figure it out in a minute. He was born to steal. Follow my finger. Just your eyes please."

He straightened out tucking his pen light away. "Your good." he said. tossing me the keys.

"OK to drive then Doc?" I asked.

"Yes. Please do hurry before he tries to hotwire it."

"No." I said touching his arm. "I mean, is it OK to drive with you?"

He became quite still. "If I say no?"

"Then I ask Walter to put me somewhere else."

He stared at me intently for a long moment then held out his hand. "Lukas Anders." He said. "Looks like we'll be riding together."

"Corrine Doyle." I said. "Looks like we are."

There was a tearing noise then a sort of a 'sproingg ping' as the clamp broke loose and flew across the inside of the transport's cabin. A low, evil chuckle rumbled from Griffin as the lock popped open.

He actually seemed disappointed to find me already sitting in the driver's seat.

It all ended well though.

I manged to back the Tortoise into the garage without further incident and Bulls was so delighted that Griffin had not had to hotwire her that he presented me with a nice pink lay to hang from the rear view mirror. Anders pretended to hate it beyond reason in front of them both and so everyone was happy by the time Walter arrived to fetch me for tea.

Which, of course, made me happy.

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXIX

For the rest of the morning we all tried to be very, very quiet and not be noticed by Miss Pringle.

Dr Levin had it easy, he simply fled to his office, Andrew proved quite proficient in the fine art of camouflage, disguising himself as a piece of lab equipment while Seras and I pretended to be potted plants.

It was all working beautifully until just before noon when Miss Pringle went into Dr. Levin's office to deliver her hourly report and caught him printing out the specs Zelig had emailed for the new bulletin board. The brittle smile she had kept plastered to her face all morning shattered, she burst into tears and stormed out of the lab.

When Walter arrived to fetch me a few minutes later, he was greeted by a chorus of "It wasn't me!" from Dr. Levin, the centrifuge and a couple of palm trees.

"It really wasn't me this time." I said to Walter as we headed out to the motor pool for my 'driving on the wrong side of the road' lesson from Griffin.

"Perhaps not directly and yet, lately, whenever my life is disrupted Ms. Doyle, there you always seem to be."

"But in a good way, right?"

"Hardly."

I muttered under my breath.

"I beg you pardon Ms. Doyle?"

"You heard me."

"I believe you just called me 'stuffy'?"

"That's right."

"I fail to see how a dislike of disruptions in one's life warrants the use of the term stuffy."

"Perhaps not, but your use of the term 'one's life' in that sentence certainly does."

"Ms. Doyle."

"Now wait, listen. I'm just trying to explain how disruption can be a good thing."

"I am breathless with anticipation."

"Aww see now that's sarcasm, we don't use that in the States. I have half a mind not to tell you then you will always wonder at the pearls of wisdom you may have missed. "

"Ah, my humblest apologies. Pray, do continue Ms. Doyle."

"This is me ignoring the sarcasm."

"You are in an interesting mood today Ms. Doyle."

"I am Mr. Dolneaze, I really am." I grinned at him wickedly.

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Oh I don't know, perhaps it's the change in the weather, I'm feeling quite..."

"Perverse? Feverish perhaps?"

"I was going to say feisty."

"Hmm."

"Speaking of perverse, you're in a bit a mood today yourself."

"Am I Ms. Doyle?"

"Yes, Mr. Dolneaze."

"I never considered myself as the type to be subject to 'moods'."

"Hmm. Well I suppose even Uberbutlers are entitled to them now and again."

"Oh, I'm quite certain we're not."

"No?"

"It's strictly forbidden I'm afraid."

"Well that seems a bit unfair."

"Page 43 of the handbook: In order to obtain Evil Butler Superpowers, one most forgo mood swings, flights of fancy and looking at paintings of small children with overly large eyes."

I swung around to stare at him my jaw agape. "How...?"

He gazed at me serenely.

"Seras! That traitor."

"I assure you it wasn't intentional. She was trying to tell Corporal Bulls a joke and she didn't realize I was in the next room."

"I'm going to kill her!"

"That would be a bit redundant don't you think?"

I glared at him a moment then deflated. "Do you ever tire of being right all the time Walter?"

"Never."

"Humph!"

I tried to look put out but simply could not muster a scowl. It just kept turning into a grin.

The prior day had been a misery for me as I wondered how my, oh so public, skirmish with Alucard was going to effect my relationships with the rest of the Hellsing staff. I knew Seras would understand and stand by me no matter what but was not so sure how the Geese and Walter would react once the dust had settled. I had spent the morning on pins and needles until Walter had picked me up from the lab and brought me to the motor pool for my first driving lesson on the medical transport.

Walter had been his usual hard to read self but Griffin had greeted me warmly and the pink, fuzzy steering wheel cover and lighted vanity mirror he and Bulls had jokingly installed (over Anders' wild protest) had eased my fears a bit. Stewart and Zelig's stunt in the lab the next day had left no doubt in my mind where I stood with the Geese, freak or no, I was still their Corrine.

And now Walter, who had had to cancel tea with me the day before in order to finish up the budget meeting my serenade had disrupted, was teasing me again. You don't really realize how much you miss a thing until it is gone and strange as it sounds Walter busting my chops had become a very important part of my day. That and tea. I really, really, like tea.

I smiled a bit then sobered trying to reorder my thoughts. "Where was I?"

"We were discussing the the futility of your homicidal inclinations towards Miss Victoria."

"No, no, before that."

"Disruptions?"

"Yes, disruptions. Thank you."

"Of course."

"I mean where would we be without disruption?"

"One can only dream."

"No, we would be nowhere. Disruptions challenge us. They goad us out of complacency and into action. Distractions, while also sometimes useful, can be ignored but a good old fashion disruption forces us to confront our problems and resolve our issues. It's the fuel that helps the creative spark take fire. It forces us to innovate to progress."

"That is a surprisingly good argument." He said.

"Yes, I'm very smart you know."

His lips quirked a bit indicating that the word he was thinking of began with 'smart' but didn't end there.

"And how, Ms. Doyle would you argue that distractions are useful?"

"Oh that's easy. The word itself tells you how."

"Oh yes?"

"Yes." I said raising a finger. "Distraction; dis, from the Latin 'to discuss ', action from the Greek to 'go do something fun' ."

He looked at me for a moment his eyebrow raised. "Ah, what a fine example you are Ms. Doyle of the American public school system."

"You scoff Mr. Dolneaze and yet," I said indicating myself with a flourish. "Worlds biggest superpower."

Ms. Doyle, I will concede that a modicum of disruption can be useful if you will concede that the remainder..."

"Yes Mr. Dolneaze?"

"Are hopelessly untidy and generate far to much paperwork."

"I bow to the master Walter."

He nodded sagely.

"Walter?"

"Yes Ms. Doyle?"

"Was there anything else you had to give up for your Evil Butler superpowers?"

"Jelly-babies."

"Oh, that's too bad."

"Yes, I was quite fond of them in my youth." He said opening the door for me to the motor pool's office.

I smiled as he ushered me inside. Walter was teasing me again and all was right with the world.

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXVIII

Oddly enough things have become a bit more normal since that night. Normal, of course, being a relative term.

I seem to have passed some sort of test with Alucard. He is still cruel, brutally so at times, but he has begun to actually explain which lesson it is that will be hammered into me in a given evening. He also seems less inclined to frighten me at every turn but is still determined to push me to the breaking point and sometimes beyond.

Currently we are working on my ability to sense and communicate with the undead across distances. I can now always tell where Seras is anywhere on the estate and can even pick up on and send her some rudimentary messages, images mostly. I can still only sense Alucard when he is physically near or wants me to "see" him.

There is also something down there in the caves, it's faint but I can feel its wrongness. I keep telling myself that its just an illusion of Alucard's to scare me but I am too frightened of confronting him and finding out that I am wrong.

The Geese, of course, are unfazable (Note my heroic self control in not using the word 'unflappable' here). Two days after the grotto "party" Stewart and Zelig paid an unannounced visit to the lab towing an oscilloscope behind them.

While Stewart brightly explained to an interested Dr. Levin and a horrified Miss Pringle that they wanted to run some tests on my voice, Zelig wandered about the lab oohing and ahhing over some of the more intricate machines, an annoyed Andrew trailing him repeatedly saying things like 'put that down please sir' and 'don't touch that, it's delicate'.

Seras, who had been totally bored and asking for the last half hour if she could please just go to bed, suddenly perked up. She put down the "Guns and Ammo" magazine she had been thumbing through and asked excitedly if I was going to sing for them.

"Of course not!" Said Miss Pringle "Don't be ridiculous!"

"Why ever not?" Asked Seras annoyed. "Sounds fun."

"Yes, why not?" Asked Stewart.

"Well first off," said Miss Pringle "This is a professional lab not a science fair exhibit. Dr Levin is a very busy man doing very important work. We do not do things because they 'sound fun'."

"I can vouch for that." I said. "The no fun part that is." I muttered under my breath.

Seras giggled.

Miss Pringle narrowed her eyes at me.

"Well, I am a busy man." Said Dr. Levin unsure.

"Yes, Dr. you are." chirped Miss Pringle. "Besides, there are regulations to consider." She said meaningfully.

"Regu-whats?" Asked Zelig pondering a centrifuge while absently knuckle rolling a test tube between his fingers.

Andrew, his arms now full of assorted items he had taken away from Zelig, gestured with his head towards the prominently posted, engraved sign prohibiting singing, humming or whistling in the lab.

"That's a joke right?" Said Zelig. "I sometimes have trouble telling." He whispered to Andrew.

"Not in the least." Said Miss Pringle. "Posted regulations are to be upheld at all times."

"If it's on the wall, it's law." Seras and I chorused.

"Well I can understand that. Rules are important" Said Stewart locking his attention on Miss Pringle and attempting to charm her with a smile. but couldn't we just 'take down' the sign just this one time for a bit. You know, for science."

Miss Pringle pursed her lips clearly torn between rules and flattery.

"Unfortunately It's bolted to the wall." Remarked Andrew wryly, clearly forgetting Zelig's earlier confession about jokes and not getting them.

"Oh I can fix that." Said Zelig brightly. He stuck the test tube on the end of Andrew's finger and pulled out a long, wicked looking knife from his belt.

"Gaahh!" Said Andrew.

"Bugger." Said Stewart.

"Oooh." said Seras appreciatively. "Is that the D2 Extreme?"

"Mmmhmm." Said Zelig strolling past a terrified Andrew towards the sign. "Got it on eblade." He stopped before the picture and tilted his head appraisingly. He lifted his thumbs and forefingers before him like a director framing up a shot.

"Just what do you think your doing there young man!" Said Dr. Levin. He turned to Stewart "What is he doing?"

"Um.." Said Stewart

"Aha, right, got it." said Zelig.

"Berti, wait.." Said Stewart but it was too late.

Flourishing his knife dramatically, Zelig leaped up into the air then, in one blindingly fast move, swung his arm down sliding the blade between the sign and the wall. There was quiet 'pop, pop' noise just as Zelig landed lightly on his feet. He sheathed his knife then reached out his hand just in time to have the sign fall neatly into his palm.

Seras and I applauded as he spun the sign on his finger and bowed.

"What did you do? You horrid little man!"

"What?" Zelig asked confused. He glanced at the wall then back at Miss Pringle's angry expression. "Oh I see." he said. "Well, I can fix that." He started to hand the sign to Andrew only to find him no longer standing there. "Huh," he said. then shrugged and Frisbee'd the sign over to Stewart. He pulled out his knife, tilted his head, whistled a bar from the '1812 overture' and sprang once more into the air. 'Clink-pop', 'Clink-pop' two bolts flew from the wall caught deftly in Zelig's free hand.

The crowed (that would be Seras and I) cheered.

"That was so cool!" I said.

"Bravo, Zelig. Well done!" added Seras.

"Please don't encourage him." Said Stewart. "He's very literal." He said to Pringle and Levin. "He really means well." He added as a cheerful Zelig proudly presented miss Pringle with the bolts from the wall.

"I can Spackle the holes for you if you'd like, probably won't even need paint. Or..., " Said Zelig staring up at the wall a dreamy expression on his face. "Or you could put up a bulletin board. Better yet, one of those dry erase boards with the steel backing for magnets or, or," He said, pulling out a pencil and notebook from his pocket. "I could make you a custom board with a testing schedule organizer and a results tally space, ooh yes and little line of hooks across the bottom, in burnished brass of course," He continued, sketching furiously. "to hang your medical charts on and Velcro pen holders on the clip boards so you don't loose the pens, I love Velcro don't you?"

"Err, yes?" Said Dr Levin.

"And Perhaps I could rig up a few ticker tape type electronic banners you know, to monitor tests in progress. Yes, nice! " He said adding a few last strokes before handing the paper to Dr. Levin.

"Err.." Said Dr. Levin.

"What? " Said Miss Pringle. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Ridiculous?" Bristled Zelig.

"What she means Zelig," Said Stewart. "is that it's more than they need. "

"I know what I meant." Grumped Miss Pringle.

"But It would look so much better. Real, hi tech science-y like."

"That's not even a real word!" Said Miss Pringle.

Zelig looked down his nose at her disdainfully. "You, have no art in your soul." He sniffed, then turned to me. "You see what I have to deal with?"

"Most great artists are under-appreciated in their time Berti." I said.

"You see," he said to Stewart. "Corrine understands. That's cause she's got art in her soul."

"Thank you Berti." I beamed.

"Not helping." Said Stewart.

"I wouldn't mind a dry erase board." Said Dr. Levin.

"Yes!" Said Zelig."

Miss Pringle looked at Dr. Levin aghast.

"Well, maybe not the whole lot." He back-pedalled. "Afraid we don't have the budget. But those hooks sound jolly nice." He said to a crestfallen Zelig.

"Budgets," Sighed Zelig. "The unremitting bane of all true artists."

"Perhaps the Velcro pens too?" Piped up Andrew from the corner he had been cowering in. "I never can seem to find one when it's needed."

"And you could use the magnets to post your hourly updates." Said Dr. Levin placatingly to Miss Pringle. "So they don't get misplaced."

"True..." Said Miss Pringle pursing her lips in thought.

There was a moment of silence as we all contemplated the wall's potential then Miss Pringle shook her head and said, "Bah! That's not the point. The point is this man..." She said gesturing towards Zelig.

"Quite right Miss Pringle. Quite right. "Where would we all be without you keeping us on track?" Interrupted Stewart. "We were of course discussing the experiment we wanted to work with Dr. Levin on."

"Work on with Dr. Levin." Corrected Miss Pringle.

"That's the spirit Miss Pringle." Said Stewart. "Glad to have you on board. Isn't that right Zelig?"

"What?" Asked Zelig who, with the help of Dr. Levin, had begun measuring the wall.

"Experiment." Said Stewart, tapping the oscilloscope with a finger.

"Right!" Said Zelig. "The experiment." He put his arm around Dr. Levin's shoulders and walked him over to the device. "Your going to love this." He said. "We thought, if we could sync up the outputs of this device with your EEG, we could track both the changes in the sound waves as well as her brain waives when she starts 'broadcasting'. "

"Interesting." Said Dr. Levin. "How do you propose to synchronize the output?"

"We thought we could jack them both into my laptop." Said Stewart. "I've modified some music editing software. I figure I can rip the output from both devices then layer them into a single file."

"You can do that?" Asked Andrew from his corner.

"Easy!" Said Stewart. "Technically we don't really need the oscilloscope but the mic on my laptop isn't that great plus, It adds to the whole 'mad science' look of the thing."

"You've been reading my 'Girl Genius' comics again haven't you?" I asked

"No." He said. "Don't need to. "

I raised my eyebrows.

"I found the web-comic online."

"Ha!"

"Don't get off topic Corrine." Said Zelig. "She's so distractable." He said to Dr Levin shaking his head. "But she bakes great brownies...so I've heard." He added pointedly.

I opened my mouth to retort but he held up his hand. "As we were saying." He said turning back to Dr. Levin. "We thought we would start her off acapella then move on to acoustic accompaniment, then perhaps recorded music too see if effects the results."

"Hmm." Said Dr. Levin. "How long would it take to set this up?"

"The software is loaded and Stewart here is a passable guitar player so we don't need to wait for that part, we can just jack these puppies up and go."

"Passable?" Asked Stewart offended.

"Puppies?" Asked Seras confused.

"Of course," Continued Zelig tapping a finger on his lips thinking. "later we could have a real musician play an instrument, just to see if impacts her performance."

"I'd like to discuss my impact with you right now Cupcake." Said Stewart.

Zelig whirled on Stewart. "It was agreed that we would not be using that name any longer."

"Must have missed that meeting." Said Stewart.

" It's Z now."

"What? Sorry, can't hear you Cupcake. Probably because I'm apparently tone deaf."

"It's Z!" Shouted Zelig. Puffing up like an affronted rooster.

"Not," Said Stewart quietly but firmly. "until Sargent Marks says so."

I thought for sure Zelig would explode but instead he just seemed to deflate. "Not 'til I earned it?" Said Zelig despondently.

"That's right." Said Stewart.

Zelig sighed. "It's very hard you know, the Seeing?" He frowned down at his clever little hands "Hard to make people understand."

He looked so terribly sad it that moment it was all could do not jump up and throw my arms around him. Even Miss Pringle looked sympathetic.

"You'll get there Berti." Said Stewart gently. "You just need to concentrate more that's all. I'll help."

"I suppose."

"Come on, lets hook this all up so we can have Corrine sing."

"Much as I hate to ruin this touching moment," Said Miss Pringle with a gleam in her eye. "I don't think that we are going to be able run your little experiment today."

"Why ever not?" Said Seras bringing us full circle in a moment of deja vu.

"I'm afraid that our EEG is not equipped to connect to your machine." Said Miss Pringle waiving the cables at Zelig. "So sorry." She said not looking sorry at all.

"Well drat." Said Seras.

"What nonsense is this?" Said Zelig. "Let me see." He said wrestling the cables from Miss Pringle's grasp. "Ummm hmmm."

"Wait, I think I've got something here." Said Stewart diving into his duffel. "Don't do anything!" He said to Zelig.

"Uh huh, hmmm." said Zelig ignoring Stewart as he blithely began disconnecting the cables and humming snatches of 'A little Night Music' .

"What are you doing?" Said Miss Pringle. "Stop that this instant!"

"Zelig, leave it be! I think I've got an adapter somewhere." Said Stewart. He glance up at Dr. Levin. "He's fine as long as its Mozart. That's just his thinking music. It's Beethoven and Wagner you have to worry about."

"Look you..." Began Miss Pringle tapping Zelig on the shoulder.

"Mmm hmm?" Said Zelig distractedly. "No time right now honey. Here, hold this." He said handing the loose cables to her. "And this." He said, placing a flashlight in her other hand. "Just shine it right there on the panel for me baby thanks." He finished patting her on the rump and pulling out a screwdriver.

Miss Pringle's face turned bright red, she glared at Zelig, outrage apparent in every angular line of her body. The cables dropped to the ground with a thump as Miss Pringle straightened to her full height seething and towering over an oblivious Zelig. The only noise in the room besides Zelig's humming was a slight terrified chocking sound from Andrew's corner. She raised the flashlight slowly and dangerously over her head. We were about to witness the death of Cupcake.

"Yes!" Said Stewart pulling some objects from the bag. He straitened and turned back to face us. "These should wor... Oh, bollocks." He swore as Miss Pringle swung her arm down to brain Zelig.

Without blinking, he ducked under the blow then reached out with his hand and pulled Miss Pringle's arm further forward. Overbalanced she fell stomach down into his lap. "Oof! I told you no time to play right now honey. I'm busy. Now, if your not going to help," He said tugging the flashlight from her hand. "Your going to have to scoot!" He raised up his hand and swatted her hard on the butt then slid her off his lap depositing her onto the floor.

"Oh, oh dear." Whispered Dr. Levin. Miss Pringle?" He started towards her as if to help her up but was brought up short by her murderous glare.

"You horrible, demented, twisted little dwarf of a man! How dare you?" She screamed as she Scrambled onto her hands and knees."

Zelig looked at her, a mildly annoyed expression on his face. "If you didn't want to help you could of just said so."

She just looked at him stunned for a moment then gritted out between her teeth. "There is something very, very wrong with you."

Zelig just shrugged and turned back to his work prodding at something with his knife.

Miss Pringle rose to her feet with as much dignity as she could muster. "If you ever touch me again, I promise to un-man you with that knife."

Zelig looked up at her with renewed interest. "Really?"

"Yes."

Zelig rose up in one fluid movement grinning at her. "Promise?" He said balancing his knife on one finger and holding it out towards her.

She looked down at the knife, her lips compressed into a hard line. Her fingers twitched. For a moment I thought she might actually go for it. Then she looked back up at him. "Get out." she said grimly.

He twirled his blade back into his palm and looked at her askance. "You're just a bit too weird for me baby."

"Get out!"

He shrugged and turned to Stewart. "Maybe we should introduce her to Griffin, he likes them high strung repressed ones."

"Zelig!" I gasped.

"What? Well he does."

"Get out!!" Screamed Miss Pringle, her fisted hands banging on her thighs. "You delusional, talentless, disgusting hack!"

"Talentless?" Sputtered Zelig glaring at her with blood in his eye. "You little.."

"Steady Zelig." Said Stewart.

Zelig glared at Miss Pringle a moment longer then his expression went blank. "It's the mustard coloured Mini right?"

"Whoa! That's our cue I believe." Said Stewart, grabbing Zelig by the collar and tugging him towards the door.

"What? I was just asking." Protested Zelig.

"Yeah, right." Said Stewart. "Why don't we schedule a meeting for later?" He said to Dr Levin.

"I'll send you an estimate." Chimed in Zelig as he was dragged through the doorway. " Won't even let me chat up a bird." He muttered.

"Stuff it." Came Stewart's voice from the hall. "I can't take you anywhere."

"Your just jealous cause the girls all want me." Said Zelig as the elevator door chimed in the background.

"One more word from you and I'm telling the Sarge and he'll take away your blasting caps again."

"Aww, see, now that's just mean."

"Look Berti, I'm going to tell you one more time. It's like the Captain says; 'there are ladies and then there are'..." Said Stewart as the elevator doors closed cutting off the rest of his sentence.

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXVII

As soon as Walter left the room we all turned to Anders. "Is he going to be OK?" I asked Marks.

"I'm fine." Said Anders shrugging off Marks' assistance and struggling to his feet. "Fine."

"Oh thank goodness." I said then the last of the adrenalin which had been holding me upright for the past, had it only been five minutes?, ran out and my knees began to wobble. If Burnadett hadn't locked his arm tight about my shoulders, I probably would have gone down like a ton of bricks.

"Wup! Steady there now. A little help here Victoria?"

Seras was on me like a shot wrapping her arms about my waist and pulling me against her tiny frame. So strong, I thought.

"Sorry I'm a bit..." I looked down at my hands, they were shaking uncontrollably. I clasped them tightly in front of me and squeezed my eyes shut. "Oh God." I whispered.

"Corrine?" Came Burnadett's voice laced with concern.

"I'm so sorry." I said. I took a sobbing breath. "How you must hate me."

I felt warm, rough hands cover mine. "Chanson, look at me."

I shook my head unable to look any of them in the eye, unwilling to see their revulsion. How could they not hate me for what had just happened?

"Corrine Doyle, you will open your eyes and face me." He commanded.

I sighed and looked up at him trying to be brave.

"And why exactly is it that we 'must' hate you?"

"Because of what happened tonight."

"Which part of tonight? The part where you gave us the lovely party or the part where you faced down a vampire to protect our sorry hides hmm?"

"But."

"And this reminds me." He said turning to Anders. "When I say stow it, you stow it! Any fool could see he was just spoiling for an excuse and you handed it right to him, mouthing off to Sir Integra like that. What the hell possessed you?"

I had a pretty good idea. "No, but this is all my fault, I dragged you into this, I'm the one who almost got you all killed."

The captain snorted. "Dragged me into it she says, as if anyone could drag me anywhere I did not want to go. Besides, I doubt it would have come to that. Alucard is dangerous but he is also bound by some very tight restrictions. He would not have done Anders any permanent harm."

"Then why the guns?"

"Because, even if he is an idiot, Anders is one of my men and nobody, but nobody, dicks with one of my men."

"But still."

"But nothing Corrine." Barked Marks. "For all that he plays the popinjay for you ladies the Captain is not a total fool. He knows when to push and he knows when to back down. Besides, that butler would have stepped in sooner had he thought danger was imminent."

"I suppose.."

"Corporal Marks' gushing praise aside, he is right. Although I must admit I had my misgivings when monsieur Walter spoke up, he rarely intervenes."

Marks nodded his agreement ignoring his sudden demotion. "I was watching him Corrine and he was watching you and, for the most part, he seemed more curious than concerned. I think he wanted to see what you would do."

I nibbled my lower lip thinking about the brief glimpse I had had of Alucard's true nature and the look in Walter's eyes when he thought about joining the vampire's game. They did not understand. I myself, was only just beginning to understand about the game.

"So you see Chanson, a tempest in a pot, nothing more."

Still brooding on Alucard's game, I shook my head and muttered something about teapots and Arch Duke Ferdinand.

"Acht drollig!" Marks said turning to Burnadett. "She seems quite determined that we hate her."

"Tsk. Seems foolish to antagonize the men with the guns but if she insists... There are of course so many lovely spots to hide the corpse down here."

"What?" I asked, as their words sank in to my brain fog.

"Wait." Shouted Zelig. "Don't you make a mess in my grotto!"

"Bah!" Said Marks.

"It's just so hard to get bloodstains out of marble." Said Zelig. "Remember Somalia?"

"Excellent point private." Said Burnadett. "Fetch me more towels."

I narrowed my eyes and harrumphed at them then poked at Seras who was snickering into the back of my neck. "Not funny." I hissed.

"It's a little funny." She giggled.

"Gee, I'm going to miss you Corrine." said Sherman who was helping Zelig with the towels.

Anders snorted with disgust as he pulled me from Seras' grip (not too hard a task as she was only holding me with one hand because the other was covering her mouth to smother her laughter) and dragged me over to a bench to examine my leg.

"That's the spirit Anders." said Burnadett as the medic placed a towel under my feet and began to pull gauze and a suture kit from his bag. "But aren't the bandages rather pointless, all things considered." Anders simply gave them the long suffering look of a seminary student trapped in a frat house and started cleaning my wounds.


Marks leaned over my shoulder and whispered in my ear. "Would you like a blindfold leibst?"

"No fraternizing with the enemy!" Said Burnadett.

"Oh yes, I forget, that's your job isn't it?" Said Marks wryly.

"What! Never!"

"Budapest."

"OK, OK, one time. But she was very pretty." He smiled wistfully and sighed then shook his head. "Speaking of which, where were we?"

"Blindfold." Said Marks.

"Right!" Said Burnadett rummaging through his pockets. "Ah," He said pulling out two long silk scarves. "Would you prefer the red or the black Chanson?"

"I don't even want to know why you have those in your pocket." Said Seras.

"They go with the handcuffs." He said grinning wickedly at her.

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"And the feather duster."

"Feath..? No, I don't want to know."

"I will show you shall I Petit?"

"No."

"Are you sure? I think the black one would suit you nicely."

"No!"

He shrugged. "Another time perhaps." He tuned to me "Chanson? You will look lovely in either."

I smiled up at him winsomely, warming to the game. "That depends," I said "Are you shooting me or propositioning me?"

Burnadett grinned delighted.

"Ha! That's our girl." Said Marks.


"Wait!" Shouted Stewart. "If we shoot her, who is going to make the brownies?"

"Hadn't thought of that." Said Sherman.

"But, we was promised brownies." Grumped Griffin.

"And biscuits!" Chimed Zelig.

"This is true." Said the captain. "I don't suppose Victoria here could..?"

"Fat chance."

"This is a quandary."

"Perhaps if we didn't shoot her but locked her up in the barracks." Suggested Stewart.

"And chained her to the stove." Said Griffin.

"So she can bake me brownies!" Added Zelig.

"You mean us." Corrected Stewart.

"We'll see." Said Zelig. "But what should we do with her when we are sleeping? She may try to escape."

"I volunteer my room!" Said Marks.

"Now wait a minute." I said.

"Me too." Said Stewart.

"Now who's fraternizing with the enemy?" Said Burnadett.

"But she is so very pretty." Said Marks.

"You know," Said Griffin. "I've seen movies that start like this...Now, about those chains"

"Arrghh!"

"You wish to add to the conversation Chanson?"

"Is death still an option?"

"Sorry, no."

"Drat."

"There is, however, one final option we have yet to explore."

"That being?"

"You could stop feeling sorry for yourself and let the men with the guns not hate you any more."

I winced at the truth of his statement. "I was wallowing a bit there wasn't I?"

"Oui, a bit."

"Then why play along?"

Instead of answering me he turned to Anders. "Almost done there carabin?"

Anders nodded as he tied off a suture. "They look worse than they are but they're pretty deep."

"Ah," I said. "Distraction."

He shrugged lighting up yet another one of his ever present Turkish cigarettes. "Couldn't have you fretting all girly like while Anders was patching you up."

"Girly like?"

"Yes, you know, all womanish and weepy."

"Why you chauvinistic little...You come over here and I'll show you weepy!"

"Finished." said Anders. taping up my bandage.

Startled, I looked down at Anders then back up to the Captain. Who was gazing at me with remarkable innocence.

I shook my head smiling. Normally I hate being 'managed' but you had to admire his style.

I looked back down at Anders who was packing up his bag. "Thank you." I said. He grunted and continued packing. I bent down lower so I could whisper in his ear. "I know what it's like to feel helpless against the carnage. To feel powerless and afraid but you didn't give up. You jumped in that pool and saved me because that's what you do. You fight to save lives." His hand stilled over his bag but he said nothing. "Please don't give up. They need you. They.." But I wasn't sure what else to say.

"The cuts are clean but You should have Dr. Levin check them in the morning." He said still not looking up at me. "I wouldn't worry about scars." He slid his suture kit into his bag then placed a small plastic cylinder on my knee. I Picked it up and read the label. 'Wound Be Gone. Liquid antiseptic bandage.' "For bigger cuts." He said.

"Ah." I said blushing. "Clever." I held out the tube to him. "Truce?"

"Truce." He said accepting my offering. He finally looked up at me with the same sweet/sad look in his eyes I first saw that night in the theater. As if liking me against his will. He stood up, put the tube in the bag, sealed the clasp then walked away without another word.

I understood perfectly.

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXVI

"Playing our Ace are we?"

"Walter?" Alucard turned to him, looking mildly surprised but immensely pleased. "You wish to join us? You wish to join the game?"
"If I must." He said. "Release Mr. Anders and we'll discuss it shall we?"

"Oh Walter." Alucard breathed. "It's been so long since we had a real game you and I." His grin broadened. "Are you sure you're up for it old man?"
Walter's eyes flashed but his face remained totally impassive as if they were merely discussing the weather. "We shall see. Mr. Anders, Alucard?""Playing our Ace are we?"

"Walter?" Alucard turned to him, looking mildly surprised but immensely pleased.  "You wish to join us? You wish to join the game?"

"If I must." He said. "Release Mr. Anders and we'll discuss it shall we?

"Oh Walter." Alucard breathed. "It's been so long since we had a real game you and I." His grin broadened. "Are you sure you're up for it old man?"

Walter's eyes flashed but his face remained totally impassive as if they were merely discussing the weather. "We shall see.  Mr. Anders, Alucard?"

"Oh yes, him." Said Alucard dismissively waiving his hand as if shooing a gnat. Anders collapsed the rest of the way to the ground whimpering quietly. He still looked frightened but he no longer seemed to be in pain. "Shall we?"

Walter nodded and gestured towards the entrance to the cave. His face was an emotionless mask but his eyes glinted with some strange unreadable emotion.

"Oh Angel, you have made me so happy."

"Nooo! Nem. Nem neki! wailed the voice in my head.

Oh my God, what have I done?

How many long years had Walter suffered under Alucard's thrall? Playing his games sacrificing his humanity before finally breaking away only to have me drag him back into it? I knew that look now. It was the look a recovering junkie gives the needle heading towards his arm. A combination of need and revulsion, desire and disgust. It was the look Seras got when she broke down and drank blood. The same look I am sure I had when Alucard whispered to me how delicious he found my fear.

What have I done?

Az én katona. Nem én farkas. Nem újra! Screamed the voice. You will stop this. You will stop this now!

"What stakes shall we play for Walter? My Angel? The Police Girl? I am not certain I wish to give them up. You will have to make it worth my while." He said heading for the exit.

Now!

Damn straight now.

"No." I said, climbing to my feet. It wasn't loud but it was there.

Alucard glanced at me then dismissively turned his back to walk away.

"I SAID NO!" This time the command rocked and pulsed through the cave. Walter, Seras and the men looked startled. Alucard looked annoyed.

"You dare?"

"I dare. No more Alucard. No more strangling me until I almost pass out. No more drowning me, no more rats, no more setting me on fire and most of all, no more threatening those around me. Period."

"Or else what? We've been through this Angel."

You have to mean it. And I did. Every last word.

"Or else I will break my promise to you and to God." He looked as if to say something derisive but I raised my hand and continued. "I will leave. I will walk out this door and take the next flight back to the U.S. and I will never look back. And if you try to find me, I will sense you coming. I will sit in the bathtub and open my wrists and give my life's blood to the bay. I swear on all that is holy, the hellbender and the horseshoe crab will feast upon your 'gifts' to me before I ever allow you to use those I love against me again!"

Alucard pulsed and stretched, tendrils of him rolling like mist over the water towards me wrapping me in a black fog. A score of small, red eyes opened to look at me in the mist and a mouth full of sharp, dangerous teeth spoke. "What makes you think I will let you leave this house alive? Why shouldn't I just kill you or make you into a ghoul?"

I crossed my arms and shrugged. "Then kill me, turn me. Either way, the game is over."

The fog tightened around me growing denser. "Last chance Angel." Said the sharp mouth moving closer.

"I know."

The sharp mouth chuckled as Alucard coalesced in front of me. He brushed the hair from my face then circled his hands loosely about my neck. "No more strangling?" He asked playfully tugging me toward him.

"No."

"But I do so enjoy it."

"No."

He sighed wistfully. "Agreed." He placed his forehead on mine. "But I still get to break your arm then."

"No! No arm breaking!"

"That wasn't part of the deal. You said; strangling, drowning, rats, burning, and that love nonsense. You never mentioned personal injury."

"I'm mentioning it now."

"You can't change the agreement once it's made."

"You do it all the time."

"True. Then I get rats back. It's only fair."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"We could always go back to my killing you."

"Fine." I said disgustedly. I know to quit while I'm ahead.

He laughed and whirled me around to face the cave entrance.

"You see Walter? You see why I adore her so?" Anyone else I would have just killed or called their bluff but she meant it Walter. She meant it! Not a glorious death in battle but her soul lost to damnation all to protect them. To protect you.

She's ready now Walter. You can train her up. Put her in the field."

"To do what exactly?"

"Oh, you'll see." Said Alucard grinning. "You can put her with that one for now." He said waiving in Anders' general direction. "I don't want to risk her on the front lines. Besides, it will serve him right for wanting to shoot her."

He spun me around to face him again. "Ah Angel," He said. "We'll show Walter and the master such amazing things. Things you do not even know yet that you can do. You will call them Angel. You will call them to you and you will free them and you will not be afraid."

I frowned, puzzled. This was the second time he had mentioned my calling "them" but I still had absolutely no idea who "them" was and what I was to do with them once they were there. "I don't.."

"Shhh. Later Angel. It can wait" He said pressing his finger to my lips. "For now your off to bed.

A girl your age should know better than to be cavorting around at all hours drinking and dancing with men of low caliber. Your setting a bad example for the Police girl. She was quite well behaved until you came along you know. Really Walter, you should be keeping a better eye on them."

He Released me after one final bone jarring shake and a playful bruising squeeze (Alucard's notion of play is often that of a terrier's with a rat) and turned to Walter. "Come Walter, let's have a real discussion." He said striding over the bridge towards the exit. "I have such plans. The master, I think, will be pleased." He strode out the exit never looking back but he took one last departing shot at me. "I know your secrets Angel. I know your heart. You have no power that I don't allow you. Push me too far one day and I will destroy you. Useful or not."

Walter paused before exiting, eyeing me, weighing me again, reassessing. He looked up to Capt. Burnadett who had come up behind me with my robe and was helping me into it.

"You will of course wish to discuss this Captain. If you will allow me to see to Alucard first?"

"Oui." Said Burnadett.

"Would you please be so kind as to see Ms. Doyle and Miss Victoria safely back to their rooms?"

"Of course." Said Burnadett, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. Some unspoken message seemed to pass between them.

Walter nodded. "Thank you." He said. He bowed slightly to the room then left to "see" to Alucard.

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXV

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Demanded Zelig.

"Oh." Said Seras. "Oooh, I get it."

"Get what Victoria?" Asked Stewart.

"See, I didn't notice it at first cause I can always hear Corrine when she's singing so it didn't even occur to me."

"What?"

"That you shouldn't"

"What? Shouldn't what? Spit it out girl!"

"That you shouldn't be have been able to hear her from the outer caverns. I mean I could hear her of course because I'm, well, you know but you guys..."

"...should not have been able to hear her through solid rock." Finished Stewart for her.

"Exactly. I noticed a slight shifting in the direction of the sound right about the time you guys started joking about being serenaded. I just thought it was the cave's acoustics but it was.."

"The intercoms!" Said Stewart slapping his forehead. "I see."

"But without the antenna how...?" Asked Zelig.

"Don't you get it? She doesn't need the antenna. She's tapping directly into the system somehow. She is the antenna. Well, transmitter actually."

"Like a wireless amp? Huh, strange." Said Zelig sounding more curious than concerned. "How are your doing that Corrine?"

I didn't answer. I was too busy glaring at Alucard.

"No, you still don't understand! It's not the volume it's her singing." Said Anders. "He's done something to her so it gets into your head and glick..." Anders eyes widened. He seemed to be choking on his words.

"You bore me little man." Said Alucard. "And you insult the master. I find these both unacceptable."

"Stop it." I said.

He ignored me.

"Get out of my mind." Anders whispered.

"Your worthless existence means nothing to me. Your sad little secrets even less, almost amusing in how pathetic they are. Barely worth my time. Still, Angel, you played your piece..."

Anders began shaking violently. I grabbed his arm shoving him behind me placing myself physically between him and Alucard.

"Leave him alone!"

"Temper temper Angel."

"I mean it."

"Oh, you always mean it Angel. But it's not sincerity I want from you, it's capitulation."

"No!"

"Very well." He shrugged.

Anders gasped as if in pain. "Get out of my mind!" He shouted collapsing to his knees and clutching his head.

A strange thought flashed through my mind 'you can stop him but you have to mean it.' I shook my head confused. I threw my arms about Anders' shoulders and tried to shield him as best I could but he just shoved me away moaning "Get out. Get out." over and over.

"Let him go! Let him go or else...!" 'You have to mean it'.

"Or else what Angel?" He asked sarcastically.

I paused. Or else, what? What leverage did i have? None. What bribe could I offer beside submission?

To submit to Alucard was to submit my soul. To hand him my core, the very essence of what made me still human over to his will. To be his creature totally and no longer be Corrine.

No. Submission was not an option.

'Not offer, threaten'

I don't understand.

'Only because you don't want to. Only because you're too afraid.'

I frowned, thinking hard.

Alucard shook his head and tisked.

I opened my mouth hoping for something to say but it was Burnadett who spoke interrupting our deadlock.

"Release him." He said calmly.

"Another piece on the board Angel?" Alucard looked at him incredulously. "Le Gaul parle ?"

"Yes, he speaks." Said Burnadett sauntering to the edge of the pool. "You will release my man."

"Will I?"

"Yes."

"This one looks to be more fun. Shall I play with him a bit longer?" Sent Alucard winking at me. "And if I refuse?"

"Then there is trouble. A great deal of it."

"From you, toy soldier?"

Burnadett nodded smiling thinly.

"From us." Said Marks. He was crouching over Anders protectively but looking directly at Alucard.

"All of us." Said Zelig as he and the others fanned out along the pool.

"You will forgive me if I find your threat to be an empty one."

"I think you will find us not such soft prey as you are used to."

"You know you can not win hired man?"

"Probably not. But we can mess you up real bad."

"This could be fun." Mused Alucard. "I might even let you go back for your guns."

"Oh, we have our guns." It was just then that I noticed all the geese were armed. "As you say, we are hired men. It is our job to be ready."

Alucard laughed delighted. "Ah mercenary, you do entertain."

"Stop it Alucard!"

"What was that Angel? Was that capitulation I heard?"

"Why are you dragging them into this?"

"You dragged them into this Angel, the moment you took off that robe. You thought to shame the Master? You shame yourself! You placed the pieces on the board, I merely play them"

"This is not a game!"

"It's always a game and everyone is a pawn. Best you remember that Angel."

He looked at me intently. "You can stop this you know. End the game with just one word."

"That word being?"

"Master."

"Never."

"Come now Angel, you're already on your knees. You don't even have to mean it. I just want you to say it front of the Police girl and Walter and all of your new friends."

I shook my head. If I said it he would make damn sure I meant it.

"Just one little word Angel and it will all be over."

But it won't be over, I thought. It will never be over. He will just use your love against you again and again until there is nothing left. And who will he threaten next time? Seras? Your son?

You can stop this, stop him but you have to mean it. You have to be prepared to ... I closed my eyes unwilling to finish that thought. Unsure if I was willing to make that sacrifice. Because I would have to mean it. He would know if I was bluffing.

"Don't you want to save them?"

"Son of a bitch." Said Sherman.

"Bastard." Whispered Marks.

"Steady." Said Burnadett. "You use us against Chanson vampire? This is not, nice."

Alucard snorted.

"Enough of your games. You release my man now."

"Or?"

"Or we do our job and kill a vampire. Your choice."

"Oh yes?" Alucard said literally pulsing with pleasure. I am not sure if the others saw it, but for a moment I caught the barest glimpse of his true nature. Seething, boiling blackness, barley contained by Hellsing's restrictions and not even remotely human. "Well in that case.."

"Alucard," Came Walter's voice cutting calmly through the tension. "Perhaps you and I could continue this conversation in the hall." I was so busy fighting with Alucard, I had forgotten Walter was still there.

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXIV

“Illusion,” I rasped “not real.”

“The hell it was!”

“Not real.” I said, as much to convince myself as him.

“No? Just look at the state of you girl,” he said gesturing towards the deep lacerations on my leg “illusions don’t do that!”

“It’s not that bad.” I said cringing at such an outright lie.

“What? Are you kidding me? It’s down to the bone. You’ve cut her down to the bone you bastard!”

“Please,” I begged Anders, “I’m OK, really.”

“Stand Down Anders” Said Burnadett.

“But look at her Capitan. We’re supposed to be killing these monsters not giving them people to play with!”

I heard several muttered sounds of assent from the men as they took in my injuries. The room was turning hostile.

“Please.” I whispered “Please don’t.”

“What the hell kind of operation is this?” He shouted at Sir Integra. What’s wrong with you?”

“You over step yourself Mr. Anders.” Said Walter.

He turned to Walter and asked sadly. “Why are you letting him do this to her?”

“Interesting piece to place on the board Angel. Albeit a stupid and weak one.”

“Leave him alone.”

“Enough!” Said Sir Integra firmly. “Mr. Anders, this is my house and my charter. If you do not care for the way I run this operation, there is the door. None will stop you from leaving. Otherwise, you will never question my authority or dedication to this cause again or I will show first hand what pain and cruelty truly are.”

She turned to Alucard. “Don’t think for a moment I don’t know that you are sticking your oar in here. You had better show some results soon or I will be taking your little toy away from you.”

“Walter.”

“Ma’am?”

“Sort this and report to me in the morning.”

Walter nodded.

She turned on her heel and began to stride away. She had just made it to the entrance when Alucard’s voice carried across the cave.

“Ask yourself this. How is it that you heard her singing well before the antenna was hooked up?”

She spared Alucard one brief glance, her face completely devoid of emotion, then nodded to Walter. “Sort this.” She said and was gone.

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXIII

“I’m sick of these illusions.”

“Are you sure it’s an illusion Angel?” He asked as a dark blob detached itself from the blackness and began slouching towards me.

“What else could it be?” I asked a bit frightened. Something was not right. It was moving closer now, small, dark and vaguely human shaped, humping towards me on uneven limbs.

“Your punishment Angel. Punishment for you insolence penance for your failure”

It was much closer now I could begin to make out some detail. It was human or had been at some point I was pretty sure. The body was badly damaged and portions of its limbs seemed to be missing. Its head hung down between its shoulders bobbling loosely as if its neck were broken. It dragged itself towards me, using its forearms to pull its ragged, useless legs along the gravely bottom of the pool. A strange trail of ichor floating behind the body marked its passing.

“Reach out to it Angel. Reach out with your mind, tell me what you feel, what you ‘see’.”

I shook my head not wanting to obey but unable to look away, drawn to it as much as it seemed to be drawn to me. Something was tugging at my mind, calling to me, crying piteously for my attention.

It halted a few feet in front of me. It was small, no larger than a child. Its skin was pale, bloated and bruised. It appeared that something or some things had been nibbling away at the areas exposed by its tattered clothing stripping away flesh exposing bone and muscle. I felt my bile rising as I stared at the small, wormlike remnants of fat still clinging to its flesh waiving gently in the current.

“Don’t you recognize him Angel?”

I bit my lip concentrating. Something nagged at my subconscious like a shiver running up my spine but my mind kept batting it away before I could grasp it. “I…don’t…” The head caught the currant, floating up so that I could now see what was left of its face. Waves of horror crashed though me I gasped out most of my air. “No, it’s not possible.”

“Of course it is.”

“It’s not real!”

“Isn’t it?”

“No! She would never let you.”

“Wouldn’t she? He’s just a little souvenir.”

“It’s a lie! It’s not real! Not real!” I began to panic kicking away at the hand on my ankle, my foot connecting with the soft flesh, digging into the skin tearing it away from the bone. “What did you do? What have you done?” I sobbed losing what precious little air I had left. Flesh and blood began to mix with the ichor clouding up the water but I could still see it through the gory chum. Still see those sad eyes begging me for help. Still see the single hand it had left loosely waving in the current back and forth in a cruel parody of that day in the theater. I squeezed my eyes shut but I could still see him.

Somewhere, far away I could hear Seras screaming my name begging Alucard to stop. My head was spinning I was close to blacking out.

“Turning our back again Angel? Still not going to save him?”

My eyes snapped open black fury replacing all fear. I let loose a torrent of rage at him hurling my anger and frustration back into his face. He laughed at me. Laughed! A stream of profanity spewed from my mind. Words I didn’t even know I knew. Words that were not even in English and that woman from the first night was there again in my head shrieking along beside me.

“There you are.” Sent Alucard thoughtfully. “I was wondering when you would show up. Perhaps we should...”

Something hard slammed into me. Rough cloth grated against my back as strong arms wrapped themselves about my waist tearing me away from those fingers, away from that thing and propelling me to the surface.

As we broke through, I was slammed by light and sound. Seras was still calling my name but I couldn’t see her or answer. I was shoved up against the side of the pool and I felt hands under my arm pits lifting me up out of the water. Seras was clinging to me sobbing my name over and over. I tried to tell her that I was OK but I couldn’t seem to breathe. Something landed beside me with a wet slap. I heard a muffled curse as I was torn from Seras’ grasp and thrown over a wet knee. Strong hands slammed down on my back driving that knee painfully into my diaphragm. Water spewed out of my lungs and, for the first time in far too long, air, sweet blessed air, was sucked in.

Another thump, a bit less rough this time, and more water spewed out. I took a deep shuttering breath to say thank you and promptly threw up more water. This process was repeated two or three more times before I could finally breathe without a corresponding purge. I was still coughing and sputtering though so I simply nodded my head to indicate that I required no further thumping the knee collapsed and my rescuer and I landed in a tangled heap on the ground.

I closed my eyes for a moment until the dizziness passed then turned to see whose lap I was sitting on and ended staring into the terrified eyes of Anders. “What...” he whispered softly, “What the hell was that?”