Wednesday, September 14, 2011

LETTERS FROM HELLSING L

The "Irish Ballad" went over so well that I was going to follow it up with "We will all Go Together When we Go" but Bulls came over and offered me a Kit Kat to sing "The Banks O'Doon" so I sang that instead. I was about halfway through "Will Ye Go Lassie Go?", (I really like Kit Kats), when Seras went to ground and Stewart and I discovered our limitations.

Seras had slipped into the catacombs under the estate and as soon as she passed the family crypt and entered the caves I lost my mental map and found it almost impossible to track her. Stewart, in turn, was learning that the signal from a small, portable tracking device rapidly loses strength through several meters of solid rock.

I needed to focus, so while Stewart muttered about redheads and tried to tweak the signal, I switched to hymns.

" I come to the garden alone..."

I can feel her...

"while the dew is still on the roses..."

but where exactly is she? I closed my eyes and let the words flow through me.

"
And the voice I hear, falling on my ear, the son of God discloses..."

Suddenly, my eyes snapped open and my body began to rotate, orienting itself to face Seras' position. "She's there." I murmured, pointing roughly downward and to the left.

"
And, He walks with me, and He talks with me..."

Stewart pounded away on his keyboard and cursed cheap Chinese batteries and 'bloody undead redheads'.

"And He tells me that I am His own..."

"Interesting," Said Marks. "This could have some potential."

"Hmmn" The captain said as he sidled up to me. "This is good Chanson" He said touching my shoulder. "but in what direction is she moving?"

I didn't stop singing, just raised my other arm and traced a line in the air.

"
And the joy we share as we tarry there..."

"Du sud-est" Said the captain.

"none other,..."

"Some very definite potential." Said Marks as he checked his compass.

"has ever,..." .

"C'est très bon mon champignon chéri. Said Burnadett. "Now, how fast is she travelling?"

"...known."

"She's walking." I murmured then frowned, puzzled, and reached for my dictionary. "Why a mushroom? Are we out of root vegetables already? "

"Possibly." evaded the captain, as he lit a cigarette.

"I begin to suspect you have a vitamin deficiency."

"I begin to suspect you both of a deficiency." Said Marks. "Have you forgotten we are tracking a vampire here?"

"Sorry." I said trying to concentrate. I closed my eyes and tried to be good and find Seras, but it just popped out. "What about carrots? You haven't yet called me a carrot."

"Alas, there is but room for only one carrot in my heart and she has gone deep under the the ground. Will you find her for me Chanson? Will you please find ma carotte douce et croquante for me?"

"OK, now your just being creepy."

"Stop distracting her!" Roared Marks.

"She started it."

"Did not!"

He glared us both into silence.

"Got her!" Shouted Stewart triumphantly.

"Glad someone's still working." Said Marks causticity. "How'd you boost the signal?"

"Didn't have too. I tapped into the com lines we ran through the caves."

"Good thought but that won't help us when we're hunting in a location where you haven't installed your spy-ware. Now, don't give me that look Corrine." He said, turning to me. "We'll uninstall it when our contracts over...and the final payment clears."

I huffed.

"And don't you go running to that butler!"

"You mean 'der Teufel'" I asked innocently.

"Yes, him!" He said picking up Stewart's extra laptop. "I am in fact, a bit surprised that he hasn't already found and disabled...oh, fluch dumm von mir. Stewart! I want diagnostics run on all of your equipment first thing in the morning! "

"Sarge?"

"Were looking for bugs."

"Right Sarge!"

"You," Said Marks, turning to the captain. "I have an idea so, stop distracting her!" He said as he booted up the computer.

"Aren't you supposed to be the boss round here?" I whispered.

"I am, when it matters." Shrugged Burnadett. "The rest of the time, pheh, he can have it." He took a deep drag off his cigarette then wafted away in cloud of philosophical smoke.

"And you," Marks said leading me back over to Stewart. "Now, don't take this the wrong way Corrine but, shut up and sing."

I nodded and closed my eyes.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound..."

"Nice." Said Stewart.

"That saved a wretch like me...."

"Very nice." Said Marks. "Now,"

"I once was lost..."

"find her for me Corrine." He took my hand and placed it on the laptop screen.

"but now am found..."

"Find your little friend liebst ." He said as he released my hand.

"Was blind..."

"Show me where she is."

"but now I see..."

I pointed.

"She's dead on." I heard Stewart say.

I opened my eyes and saw a schematic of the cave system glowing on the laptop screen in front of me and that my finger was pointing to a cave on said screen that corresponded exactly to the cave on Stewart's screen with the blinking red "Seras" dot. I blinked back, amazed.

"Excellent." Said Marks, placing himself between Stewart and me so I could not see the other screen. "Now, show me where she is going."

I Smiled and closed my eyes again.

"Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear...."

It grew easier and easier as the song progressed. I just rolled along with the lyrics and occasionally pointed my finger. I didn't even have to open my eyes, I just waited for the distant sound of Stewart's voice confirming my hits. I was also vaguely aware that the Geese had gathered around me as we went on and could feel their undivided interest but I simply placed that knowledge to one side letting it add to the murmuring background noise of the living and non-living things around me.

It was almost too easy, I was literally finding Seras with my eyes closed. But then the little minx swung into the grotto and I started to pick up a second signal.

I tried to ignore it but it was like those old "silent" fans they used to have in the escalator shaft at Montgomery Ward that would whine, just on the edge of awareness, pressing in on your eardrums and vibrating against your fillings. Impossible to ignore. It was a horrible creeping wrongness that, at all costs, I could not, must not believe was real. But it was there, a persistent, unpleasant, festering void, painfully demanding my attention like a cavity. Every time I tried to bat it away and deny it, it stabbed back harder. It was like biting over and over on a piece of tinfoil. My head was pounding and I began to sweat with the effort of denial.

I became so wrapped up in defending against her diversion that I almost missed Seras exiting the cave. I muttered under my breath and cursed her mentally while I tried to refocus. Someone was touching my shoulder, trying to get my attention but I shook them off stabbing viscously at the computer screen with my finger. She wasn't getting away from me! not after that little stunt.

Somewhere in the background, I distantly heard Stewart's voice somewhere droning 'no, wrong. wrong way!' but I did not care. I had her now and she was moving fast through the stockpile caverns. up and east.

"No," Stewart buzzed, "South!"

Someone was pulling on my arm. They were beginning to annoy me. I redoubled my efforts to focus.

"Rock of Ages,..."

Seras was on a roll now. zooming under the motor pool towards the proving grounds.

"cleft for me..."

Then, just like that, she was on the surface smack dab in the middle of the obstetrical course. There must have been a hidden exit that I wasn't aware of.

"Let me hide myself in thee..."

Suddenly, I was right there with her. I felt her stretch her limbs and revel in her strength as she effortlessly leaped to the top of the climbing wall to get her bearings.

"Let the water and the blood,..."

I could feel the cool night breeze caressing our face and smell the green spring growth.

"From Thy wounded side which flowed,..."

We grinned with pleasure at the sleepy murmurs of small animals around us, matching our pulses up with the rhythm of their sweet living heartbeats, our hunger temporally dulled by sentimental yearning to hold on to this illusion of being alive once more, if only for a moment.

"be of sin the double cure,..."

We sighed, 'oh well' and turned to face the barracks.

"save from wrath,..."

Work to be done. Now, how best to approach the target?

"and make me pure..."

Hands were gripping us, shaking us. We slapped them away annoyed. Something wet and stinging cold hit our face just above our upper lip. We reached up and touched our face confused. Seras' hand came away wet from a raindrop. My hand was wet from...Whoof!

Without warning, I was enveloped in a chemical haze. I came up coughing and sputtering, my eyes watering like mad.

"What?" I gasped shoving Anders hand out from under my nose. "What are you doing! Why did you do that?"

"You were unresponsive." He said showing me the ammonia capsule he held in one hand.

"So?"

"And bleeding." He said holding up a pink tinged alcohol pad with his other hand.

"But I had her! I was locked in. I had her right here!" I shouted as I pointed to my temple. "And you made me lose her!"

"I'm sorry Corrine but you didn't." Said Stewart.

I whirled on him. "I had her." I ground out between clenched teeth.

"Sorry luv but no. You lost her just outside the grotto and have been pointing the wrong way ever since. See?" He said tapping his computer screen.

I glared at the screen and saw where my hits and the signal from the tracking device diverged. I slumped, I had been so sure.

"Its OK Corrine you were doing great till ..."

"Wait a second. Isn't that a water channel ?" I asked tracing the path Stewart's computer said Seras had taken with a finger.

"Yes, so?"

"So your telling me that Seras ran into the grotto, jumped off the bridge into freezing cold water, swam down the canal, waded through the settling pools then...., crawled through a 12 inch feeder pipe so she could paddle around in leisurely circles in the cistern?"

"What is this?" Barked Marks. Grabbing the screen.

"As opposed to her barrelling through solid rock and tunnelling under the motor pool? Yes."

"So she what, collapsed her skeleton and grew gills?"

"No, she chewed through solid rock and popped out of the ground like a daisy!"

"Oh don't be stupid."

"Stupid!"

Marks slammed the computer back down on the table. "So which is it? Is she a fish or a mole now?" He asked glaring at us.

I opened my mouth to answer, then hesitated because:
a, there was probably a reason the Geese didn't know about the tunnel under the motor pool &
b, they had automatically assumed I was the one who lost track of Seras. Jerks!

"She could, I suppose be a platypus, they both swim and burrow...or an otter." Offered Zelig.

"An otter?!" Shouted Marks.

"Well a river otter maybe." I mused. My feelings were still a bit hurt.

"Otters? Cuttlefish! What is it with you two and the zoology lessons today?"

"An artist. A true artist should study and understand his subjects." Said Zelig smugly.

"I watch a lot of PBS." I shrugged.

"Ridiculous!" barked Marks. "This gets us nowhere."

"Perhaps, because you miss the obvious." Said the Capitan strolling back over in a blanket of Turkish smog.

"Do, tell." Growled Marks.

"Well, you see our little Corrine here, she did not actually claim that Victoria tunnelled her way out of the caves did she?"

"Well, no but..."

"Perhaps, this is because the tunnel was already there. Perhaps what you should have asked yourself mon amie was where, in this cavern," He said tapping the screen. "a tunnel entrance could be hidden no?"

"But we've thoroughly searched those caverns Blaven even pinged them with the sonar when..."

"The weapons lockers!" Said Blaven smacking his hand on his forehead. "The auxiliary units behind the machine shop. They was already installed before we got here and it were them regs*, not us, that moved the merchandise into that particular area."

*Regs; regular soldiers or as Griffin liked to put it, "The poor slobs who hav'ta follow regulations as well as orders.". In this case, Capt. Chamber's men.

"Hmmn that butler did oversee the final mountings in that area himself but he did that for the main weapons lockers as well. Still, all that lead and steel might mask a tunnel from the sonar and the frames of the lockers would definitely conceal any seams that might normally give the entrance away...It's the perfect little bolt hole."

The captain nodded. "Hidden in plain sight, easily barricaded, one maybe two men could cover your escape."

"You could even re-arm yourself on the way out. Marks continued.

"And all that ammo." Said Zelig. "Probably has the whole cave rigged to blow once they're clear. Ha, genius!"

Griffin whistled in appreciation. "Total death trap. Sweet!"

"Undead trap you mean." Said Sherman. "Take a ghoul awhile to dig their way out of that. It'd even slow that Alucard down a bit I bet. No wonder they didn't want us to know about it."

"It's bloody brilliant." Said Stewart. "Perhaps Mr. Walter is the devil."

"Or works for her anyway." Said Anders.

That got an amused snort from several of the men.

"This," Said Marks. "is a very good thing to know. This, is the sort of thing that can guarantee final payment. This, is the sort of thing that bonuses are made of!" He finished rubbing his hands together with glee.

"Yeah, the 'shut your trap' variety." Snickered Griffin.

I stood gaping at them aghast. No wonder they had been kept in the dark about the escape tunnel.

"The word you are searching for Chanson is 'mercenary'." Grinned the captain.

"So where did you say the tunnel exits Corrine?" Asked Stewart.

"I didn't!" I snapped.

"Here, by the motor pool?" He asked pointing to a storage shed.

"Garage makes mooore sense." Said Bulls. "Could snag a vehicle an stay unner cover while looden it." They all looked at me expectantly.

"I take it back. She's in the cistern." I evaded.

"Oh come off it Corrine." Said Stewart. "You beat me fair and square. Now, be a mate and spill."

I shook my head.

"We are your friends now ain't we Corrine?" Asked Griffin crowding into my space.

I nodded warily.

"So, friends share." He said, reaching out and plucking an invisible piece of fluff from my hair. He leaned in and rumbled in my ear. "Why not be a good friend and share now?"

"Go play with Nurse Pringle, Hoss." I said pushing him away with a finger.

"Aww Come on Rin, play nice and tell us."

I thinned my lips and shook my head mulishly. I'd done enough damage to Hellsing for one night.

"Leave her be!" Growled Marks elbowing the Griffin mountain to one side. "We understand liebst." He nodded to me. "Loyalty's a complicated thing for people with scruples. It's why I avoid having them. You don't have to tell us. We'll figure it out on our own. Give this idiot something better to do than put his hands where they don't belong." He said warningly to Griffin. "Someone might just chop off his arm and feed it to him one day."

"Has everyone forgotten that we are tracking a vampire here?" Asked the Captain mimicking Marks' voice as he pulled out and frowned at his BlackBerry. Marks had his out as well and Stewart had swung back around to his computer screen and was typing like crazy. "Speaking of which, something has tripped several perimeter alarms. Perhaps it would be wise to see if it is your little friend before we shoot it no?" He said glancing at me.

"Yes!" I agreed and closed my eyes in preparation but before I could so much as sing a note, there was crashing sound and the tinkle of breaking glass overhead followed by a strangled scream in the corridor.

Marks cursed and stepped in front of me. All of the Geese had drawn their weapons.

The door burst open and I was pushed to the ground knocking the breath out of me before I was able to shout "No, don't shoot!". Someone was on top of me shielding my body I desperately tried to buck him off me terrified for Seras so I almost missed Burnadett's barked order to "Hold your fire!" just as Seras burst into the room singing "Rock of Ages" at the top of her lungs.

"While I draw this fleeting br...bloody hell Zelig watch where you're throwing those things."