"I can't believe I let you talk me into this."
"You promised."
"I know but, it hurts when I breathe."
"If you stopped complaining you wouldn't have to breathe as much and it would hurt less."
"You're all heart Anders."
"Less talking more walking."
"I still don't underst-whoop! Ow."
"Ooof, watch where you're going Doyle!"
"But I can't see my feet! Ow!...Or raise my arms."
Lukas finally stopped walking and looked back to where I stood, unsuccessfully trying to cross my arms indignantly.
"How am I supposed to drive when I can't see my feet?" I demanded, stamping one of the aforementioned invisible appendages.
"You could..." He began.
"Or lift my arms above my waist?"
"Hmmm...."
"I told you it was too tight. Ow! Stop that!" I said when he experimentally tried to raise one of my arms out in front of me."
"Hmmm..." He repeated.
"And you used way to much tape." I said, jabbing an accusing finger towards him from hip level.
"Well I had to, you're a big girl you know!"
I gasped in shocked offense and instantly regretted it. "Ow!"
"I mean..." He said, back-pedaling. "That is to say...up..well you know, up there where girls are supposed to be...um... You know, some women pay a lot of money for undergarments that give them this kind of figure!"
"Perhaps, but I doubt those garments are made of surgical tape and most likely don't require specialized tools to take them off."
"All right, all right! I'll cut you out of it once we get in the van."
"Now please."
"No! We haven't finished distracting the target yet."
"But we already paraded past Marks and he wasn't at all distracted. He just smirked and said 'nice try'. Actually, I'm a bit insulted by that come to think of it." I Mused.
"You're point Doyle?" He growled.
"The point is," I huffed. "it didn't work. Marks wasn't distracted so all this," I said flapping my hands up and down to indicate my torso. "was one big old waste of time and tape!"
"Oh no!" Said Lukas brightly. "The Sergeant is not our target. I wanted him to think so but he was never our target."
"But," I sputtered in confusion. "If he wasn't our target then who..."
"Sweet mother of God! I've died and gon ta heaven!" Came a deep baritone to my left.
"Heh, if ye deid Purn I do'na think it would be hea'ven yeed be seein." Responded a ridiculously thick highland brogue. "Boot I moost admit Corrine, yer sporten a fine pair ov..."
"Garbelgilit!" Interrupted a strangled suspiciously Blaven-esc sound.
I turned my feet and head 90 degrees, on the hopeful assumption that the rest of me must eventually follow suit, to find Griffin leering, Bulls grinning like a loon and Blaven...well Blaven looked simply pole-axed.
"Um," I began, but my torso chose that moment to snap around to join the rest of my body like an overstretched rubber band. It overshot the mark a bit, slid back then finally settled itself with a wobble into a generally front-wise position.
Bulls gaped in wonder. Blaven's lips were moving but no sound was coming out.
Griffin, dropped to his knees and proposed marriage.
"What? No!" I said slapping at his questing hands and scuttling back towards Anders.
"Aww, come on baby," Wheedled Griffin. "It'le be fun."
"I dona' think she likes ye Purn."
"Nah, all the ladies like a bit of Porn, especially when I show them my..."
"Stop!" I shrieked, wishing desperately that I could lift my hands up high enough to cover my ears.
"Aww, com'on Corrine..."
"April." Breathed Blaven.
"What?" Frowned Griffin.
"She's Miss April." Continued Blaven. Looking a bit dazed.
"Hell yes Miss April!" Agreed Griffin. N'fact in that get up, she could be April an May both!"
"No." Corrected Blaven. "Miss APRIL."
"Ahhh." Said Bulls. "I ken."
"What? Ohhhh, yeah." Said Griffin looking me up and down grinning. "THAT Miss April. Sweet!"
"Who?" I asked utterly confused.
"So that's what yer into is it Corri...I mean A-PRIL?" Asked Griffin as he scuffled towards me still on his knees. "Ya like a a little role-play baby?"
I shook my head vigorously sidling around to keep Lukas' body between myself and a seemingly delusional Griffin.
"Miss April?" I hissed in Lukas' ear. He smirked and tried to step aside. I gripped his belt tightly refusing to relinquish my human shield.
"Let go Corrine." He hissed back. "It's no good unless they see you." I shook my head mulishly. "Besides, Griffin's about to goose you."
I yelped and jumped to one side just in time. Lukas took advantage of the moment and slipped out of my foreshortened grasp. "Anders!" I growled. "Get back over here or I swear to God when this is all over I'm going to..."
Sherman's voice cut across my triade. "Sargent says you three need to get yer asses into gear or...Well I be damned, its Miss April."
"You promised."
"I know but, it hurts when I breathe."
"If you stopped complaining you wouldn't have to breathe as much and it would hurt less."
"You're all heart Anders."
"Less talking more walking."
"I still don't underst-whoop! Ow."
"Ooof, watch where you're going Doyle!"
"But I can't see my feet! Ow!...Or raise my arms."
Lukas finally stopped walking and looked back to where I stood, unsuccessfully trying to cross my arms indignantly.
"How am I supposed to drive when I can't see my feet?" I demanded, stamping one of the aforementioned invisible appendages.
"You could..." He began.
"Or lift my arms above my waist?"
"Hmmm...."
"I told you it was too tight. Ow! Stop that!" I said when he experimentally tried to raise one of my arms out in front of me."
"Hmmm..." He repeated.
"And you used way to much tape." I said, jabbing an accusing finger towards him from hip level.
"Well I had to, you're a big girl you know!"
I gasped in shocked offense and instantly regretted it. "Ow!"
"I mean..." He said, back-pedaling. "That is to say...up..well you know, up there where girls are supposed to be...um... You know, some women pay a lot of money for undergarments that give them this kind of figure!"
"Perhaps, but I doubt those garments are made of surgical tape and most likely don't require specialized tools to take them off."
"All right, all right! I'll cut you out of it once we get in the van."
"Now please."
"No! We haven't finished distracting the target yet."
"But we already paraded past Marks and he wasn't at all distracted. He just smirked and said 'nice try'. Actually, I'm a bit insulted by that come to think of it." I Mused.
"You're point Doyle?" He growled.
"The point is," I huffed. "it didn't work. Marks wasn't distracted so all this," I said flapping my hands up and down to indicate my torso. "was one big old waste of time and tape!"
"Oh no!" Said Lukas brightly. "The Sergeant is not our target. I wanted him to think so but he was never our target."
"But," I sputtered in confusion. "If he wasn't our target then who..."
"Sweet mother of God! I've died and gon ta heaven!" Came a deep baritone to my left.
"Heh, if ye deid Purn I do'na think it would be hea'ven yeed be seein." Responded a ridiculously thick highland brogue. "Boot I moost admit Corrine, yer sporten a fine pair ov..."
"Garbelgilit!" Interrupted a strangled suspiciously Blaven-esc sound.
I turned my feet and head 90 degrees, on the hopeful assumption that the rest of me must eventually follow suit, to find Griffin leering, Bulls grinning like a loon and Blaven...well Blaven looked simply pole-axed.
"Um," I began, but my torso chose that moment to snap around to join the rest of my body like an overstretched rubber band. It overshot the mark a bit, slid back then finally settled itself with a wobble into a generally front-wise position.
Bulls gaped in wonder. Blaven's lips were moving but no sound was coming out.
Griffin, dropped to his knees and proposed marriage.
"What? No!" I said slapping at his questing hands and scuttling back towards Anders.
"Aww, come on baby," Wheedled Griffin. "It'le be fun."
"I dona' think she likes ye Purn."
"Nah, all the ladies like a bit of Porn, especially when I show them my..."
"Stop!" I shrieked, wishing desperately that I could lift my hands up high enough to cover my ears.
"Aww, com'on Corrine..."
"April." Breathed Blaven.
"What?" Frowned Griffin.
"She's Miss April." Continued Blaven. Looking a bit dazed.
"Hell yes Miss April!" Agreed Griffin. N'fact in that get up, she could be April an May both!"
"No." Corrected Blaven. "Miss APRIL."
"Ahhh." Said Bulls. "I ken."
"What? Ohhhh, yeah." Said Griffin looking me up and down grinning. "THAT Miss April. Sweet!"
"Who?" I asked utterly confused.
"So that's what yer into is it Corri...I mean A-PRIL?" Asked Griffin as he scuffled towards me still on his knees. "Ya like a a little role-play baby?"
I shook my head vigorously sidling around to keep Lukas' body between myself and a seemingly delusional Griffin.
"Miss April?" I hissed in Lukas' ear. He smirked and tried to step aside. I gripped his belt tightly refusing to relinquish my human shield.
"Let go Corrine." He hissed back. "It's no good unless they see you." I shook my head mulishly. "Besides, Griffin's about to goose you."
I yelped and jumped to one side just in time. Lukas took advantage of the moment and slipped out of my foreshortened grasp. "Anders!" I growled. "Get back over here or I swear to God when this is all over I'm going to..."
Sherman's voice cut across my triade. "Sargent says you three need to get yer asses into gear or...Well I be damned, its Miss April."
