letters from Hellsing III

I felt a gentle pressure on my leg. The Children! My head snapped up and I found my self staring once again to that little boy’s eyes. He had refused to leave me. When I had tried to hand him through the window to safety, he had screamed and struggled until I gave up and began passing other children through as he clung to my leg quiet and content. He reached out and touched my cheek brushing aside my tears and said "It’s going to be OK.".

I looked at the boy and then over at the little alter. "Trust me" a small quiet voice inside said.
At that instant, the fog in my mind cleared.

I looked back down at the boy and said. "That’s right. Everything is going to be OK!" to him. "Somehow." I said to myself. Taking the boy in one hand and dashing away tears of self pity (never again, I promised) with the other, I strode towards the small closet.

"Everyone come here!" I said in a cheerful voice. The remaining children gathered quietly around me as I kneeled down. "We set off the alarm when we broke that window so the police are on their way" I said. "They will come and save us from these, these..."

"Monsters?" suggested a little girl.

"Yes, monsters. Like in a bad dream. Now, all we have to do is hide from the monsters until the good guys come to save us. OK?"

Small, hopeful smiles and nods. A couple of squeaked "OK’s". They trusted me. Believed what I was telling them must be true. "Dear God. Please let me be right" I thought.

"Trust me." The small voice said.

I slapped my thighs "Alright, huddle up! Here’s the plan" I said gathering them into my arms as best I could. "I want you to go into that closet and close the door. You stay in there, quiet like little mice, until the good guys come to save us. Do not come out until either I or the good guys say the monsters are gone OK?"

"Come with us." said my little boy.

"No. My job is to stay out here and distract the monsters until the good guys come."

"How?"

Damn! "Um..."

"Trust me"

"The bible. I’ll show them the bible and that cross. Everyone knows monsters are scared of crosses because they belong to God and God can beat them up." ....What am I saying?... "So I’ll fight the monsters with this bible until the good guys come. It’s a big bible, it will protect me."... Your raving mad woman... "So come on now hurry, into the closet all of you so I can do my job."

"What’s our job?" Asked my boy.

I smiled at him. "Pray hard for the good guys to get here real soon." I said and closed the door.
I leaned against the door for a moment and glanced at the flag with the cross. "I am not going to let him die." I said "I am not going to let ANY of them die.".

"Trust me"

I ran over to the big podium and began pushing it towards the closet. There was a loud crack and the door to the greenroom was flung off its hinges. With a desperate heave, I shoved the podium against the closet door. I sprinted to the center of the room and cast about for a weapon.
The horrible man was standing in the doorway grinning at me. "There you are my dear. Sorry to have kept you waiting."

I backed up a couple of steps still looking for a weapon and almost tripped over a folding chair. My hand closed over it. Any port in a storm.

"Where are the little ones my dear? My friends are hungry."

I swung the chair up and waived it at him threateningly. His grin only broadened.

"Still some fight left in you? You know you can’t win. Just give up now and I promise to make it almost painless."

I could feel the fog trying to descend again. I did not trust myself to speak so instead I glared at him in what I hoped to be a very brave and defiant "Fuck you" manner. The fact that I was trembling uncontrollably probably did not help.

The man sighed with feigned sorrow and shook his head. "I guess my friends will have to work a little for their supper." Pointing to the closet door he said "Get the ones in there and pull them apart, slowly. Leave the woman alive. I want her to watch."

He flashed the most charming smile at me as the ghouls streamed past him into the room. "Come here my dear like a good little girl."

I felt a pull towards the door.

"Fuck you!" I screamed in my head again and forced myself to step sideways to block the ghouls' path to the door. I felt a strange power surge suddenly through me. I pulled my arms back and swung the chair as hard as I could across the head of the first ghoul.

He went down like a ton of bricks.

"Good girl" said the voice.

Arms tingling, I swung again hitting the body of the next ghoul. "THWACK!" I hit him so hard the chair bent and his body flew back with a force that knocked down two others of his kind.

"How am I doing this?" I thought. "I am not that strong."

That Strange power began to well up in me again. Flowing through every part of me, singing in my soul.

"Trust me"

"Ah!" Without even looking I reached out, grabbed another chair, and held it ready.

The man applauded. "Bravo! Very good! Very good! I like my food with a little fight but come now my dear, that’s enough. You could get injured and I don’t want to waste a drop of you. There is no one left who can save you. Drop the chair and come here now!"

There was no fog this time. I felt no compulsion to obey. I was still terribly afraid but I could feel this power flowing through me and I could hear that voice whispering 'trust me' and I did.

I locked eyes with the man, shook my head, and smiled.

He seemed puzzled and annoyed.

"Have it your way then. Kill her!" he growled and snapped his fingers. The ghouls who had stood swaying gently back and forth while the man spoke, turned as one and began to shuffle towards me en mass.

"This is it" I thought.

"Trust me"

"Thy will be done" I whispered. I took a deep breath and began swinging.