"This pleasant month of May,
the fauns and satyrs trip it.
Fa la, la la la.
Fa la, la la la.
Fa, la la la la la!”
What is it about sipping wine from a paper cup while soaking in a hot pool of water in a fake Roman temple that makes one want to sing madrigals?
"All nature now is gay.
All nature now is gay.
Fa la, la la la.
Fa la, la la la.
Fa, la la la la la!”
I was really enjoying the acoustics. Perhaps a sea shanty would be appropriate.
"Here’s one more day, on the Great Funnel Line...” hmmm.
Seras was right. This is relaxing. Good old Seras.... I had found the perfect spot where I could sit in the warm water with my arms stretched out along the ledge and my head could lean back onto the lip of the pool and still keep dry. It was so nice. Bless you Cupcake.
Unfortunate call sign that. That’s the problem with nicknames you know, you rarely get to choose them. Other, crueler people, such as your friends, usually choose them for you.
Ironically, I had lobbied for years without success for a nickname but nothing ever seemed to stick. Then, one night my sister talked me into going to a Markland feast and there, surrounded by drunk medieval re-enactors, I was finally granted my wish (be careful what you wish for little girl) and dubbed ‘Roadkill’.
Sexy, no?
Well, it could have been worse, much worse. Plus, I really had a great time at the feast. I don’t recall any food but there was mead. Lots of mead and my sister had seemed so happy. We had finally reached an age when we could really start being friends and not just siblings and when she was happy she would energize the whole room and it was hard not to be happy too.
Re-enactors. Ach, weird and crazy the whole lot of them. Myself included. I miss those days. But NOT my secret Skraeling name! Misty eyed, I raised my fisted right had to the side of my head and sang “Markland thy slimy sod, forsook by all but God. Home of the darkest swamps and thickest of thorns...”
I didn’t sound half bad but I felt myself becoming oddly maudlin. Must be the wine I thought pushing the cup away. After all, I did not want my earlier diatribe to Seras to become a self-fulfilling prophesy.
I needed to lighten the mood.
Kate Smith? No, one must sing quite loud to do Kate justice and the reverberations might prove dangerous. It seemed fairly stable in here but being a properly British cave, the strains of ‘God Bless America’ might just cause a stalactite to break free and whack me on the head just to prove a point.
I glanced warily at the ceiling. Perhaps a musical.
Yeah!
Something Cheerful and bouncy.
Something light and fun.
Something like... like....Hair!
Perfect.
I settled a bit further down into the water, threw back my head and belted out ‘Aquarius’.
“When the Moon is in the 7th house...”
Much better.
When I got to ‘My Conviction’, I was really feeling feisty so I decided to tackle the operatic version featured in the movie soundtrack (but sadly omitted from the film) cause I wanted to try out the high notes. It was great. My voice was madly whizzing and zooming and bouncing about the cave. The cacophony was amazing. By the time I reached the note
near the end which was to be held for a 17 count , I felt as if I were being backed by a demented, but very cool, chorus.
"There is a peculiar notion that, elegant plumage and fine feathers are not proper for the man, when
A----------------ctually,”
Wow, this is great!
“That is the way things are in mo-o-o-ost spe-cies.”
My arms splashed down into the water with the final crashing note of the orchestra.
I was having a great time. I had even forgotten to wonder what was taking Seras so long until about ½ of the way through ‘Frank Mills’.
“I love him but it embarrasses me, to walk down the street with him.”
Hmmm. Are those voices I hear?
“He lives in Brooklyn somewhere and wears this white crash helmet.”
Yes, that sounds like Seras. I wonder who she’s talking to.
“He has golden chains on his leather jacket and on the back are written the names,”
Oh yes, that must be Cpt. Burnadett asking why she is talking so loud.
“Mary”
The squad must have gotten back early.
“and Mom”
And decided to go for a swim.
“and Hell’s Angels.”
And Seras is talking loud to warn me they are coming.
“I would gratefully appreciate it ..” Oh. Oh!
“Oh rats!” I screeched as I exploded out of the pool and grabbing for my robe just in time.
The guys trooped in staring at Seras who was talking very fast and very loudly about nothing in particular. She sagged with relief when she saw me belting my robe tightly around my waist.
I turned up my collar so that it covered most of my neck and beamed at them. “Oh, is that you Seras? I didn’t hear you coming.”
“Surprising considering the high level of noise she was making.” Twinkled the Captain.
“Yes, almost as if to warn you we were coming .” Growled Corp., no, Sgt. again Marks. “And give you time to get into that robe.”
His look of disappointment was quite flattering.
Seras’ triumphant look of ‘I told you so’ was just annoying.
‘Shut up’ I glared back at her.
“Is that what you were doing? Drat you Victoria!” Said Corp. Stewart.
I giggled, so help me, I actually giggled a bit.
“Not that I’m surprised you couldn’t hear us with how loud you were singing.” He continued.
“Oh was singing too loud? Sorry.”
“No, you sounded great. We were trying to shut this one up so we could listen.”
“Well!” Said Seras indignantly.
“The acoustics in here are amazing.” I said walking over to Seras and hooking my arm through hers. “Thanks.” I whispered in her ear giving her arm a squeeze.
“The acoustics in here are quite good.” He said. “I should bring my guitar down here but you were what sounded amazing.”
“Oh.” I said blushing and giggled again. No more wine for you Corrine.
“Yes, but I do not recall the words ‘Oh rats’ in the lyrics of that particular song.” mused Sgt. Marks.
“Artistic license.” I laughed.
“And that operatic recitation earlier. I do not recall that particular arrangement from the play.” He said.
“Movie soundtrack.” I confessed.
“I thought you were more of a purist.” Said Corp. Stewart.
“I wanted to see if I could hit the high notes.”
“Philistine.”
“Art is where you find it.” I sniffed. “Speaking of which, Zelig you did just an amazing job here. It’s absolutely.... Why is he glaring at us like that?” I whispered to Sgt. Marks.
Pvt. Zelig, who had not uttered one word since coming in, was standing with his fists on his hips, eyes flashing, seething with anger.
“He is very artistic. Likes to be complimented right off.” Marks whispered back. Then in a louder voice said, “What ho Zelig. Why so angry? The place looks damn nice I think.”
“Yes, great job.” Chimed in Stewart.
“Oh like I care what you scutters think!” snapped Zelig. “What do you know of art? What do you know of beauty?” He glared balefully at each of the men in turn looking for all the world like a wet angry rooster. “You look at this and what do you see? A naked lady and a warm pool and your happy. You haven’t an ounce of aesthetic sense to share among you!”
“Oh Gut in Himmel! Is this about that stupid fairy lights garden in Bosnia again?” Bellowed Sgt. Marks. “Cause if it is..”
“We said we was sorry.” Said Pfc. Griffin.
“This is not about Titania’s Delight!” Zelig roared back.
“So what’s eating you if you don’t care what we think?”
“Because I care what Corrine thinks!” He said striding over to me.
“---” I said. Caught off guard.
He looked at me beseechingly. “ I wanted to show to you because I knew you could appreciate what I had done. I wanted to show you and Mr. Dollneaz and Sir Integra tomorrow night when everything was perfect. But now!” He threw his hands down a portrait of despair.
“Oh but it really is beautiful!” I said “And what you did with the heating elements, the way you made the wall so warm, sheer genius! I haven’t felt so relaxed in ages.”
He looked at me still miserable. “But it’s all wrong.”
“No, it’s lovely.”
“No it’s not. And this one!” He said whirling around and pointing to Seras like an actor in a bad historical courtroom drama ‘J’accuse’. “Thinks she can just bring you in early and show you my work. Then she doesn’t even turn on the lights right.”
“What? I flipped the switch. I turned on the lights.”
“You turned on the wrong lights! These are not the proper lights!”
“...I flipped the..”
“These are the work lights! These are not the proper lights.” He growled.
“We could see good enough to swim.” Said Seras getting a bit defensive.
Zelig’s face began to turn purple.
“Merde.” Said Capt. Burnadett under his breath as he tried to insert himself between Zelig and Seras.
“Here we go.” Said Sgt Marks.
“Good enough? Good enough!” Roared Zelig. “This isn’t about ‘good enough’ this isn’t about just seeing! This, this is about...”
“Encountering a multi-sensory artistic experience.” Chimed the Capt. And the Sgt. At the same time.
“Exactly!” Said Zelig. “Not that you care and this one has ruined it!”
“Now wait just a min..umph!” Seras began before Burnadett clapped his hand over her mouth.
She glared at him so hatefully that he immediately snatched it back. Opting instead to wrap an arm around her shoulders and whisper to her urgently “By all that is holy little one, please shut up.” He looked up “She really is sorry Zelig. Aren’t you Victoria?”
“Um yes?”
“See. She is very, very sorry.”
“But the lights.” He said sadly.
“I knew it! Stupid fairy lights again. I swear I am going to fu.. Hey!” Said Marks as I ‘accidentally’ kicked him in the shin.” This was getting out of hand.
I stepped forward to Zelig. “Zelig, Bertram, this is all my fault really. You see, I was so miserable tonight from training and when Seras told me about what you had done here, it sounded so lovely and fun I got excited and just had to see it for myself. Seras was just trying to make me feel better. I am so sorry. Can you forgive me?”
“Well,”
“I baked brownies.”
“With Walnuts?”
“And fudge chips.”
“Well, I suppose you weren’t to know.”
“I am sorry.”
“So, you liked the heating elements?”
“Love them.”
“And the benches? I added those.”
“Did you? I would never have guessed. They look original.”
“Oh for the love of...Ow!”
“Shut up Marks!” Hissed Burnadett. “She’s got this.”
“I just wish you could have seen it right.”
“You could still show me, couldn’t you?”
“Well, I don’t have the tuner but... I suppose I could... yes, that would work....hmm, yes. And you really want to see it right? With the lighting and, and everything?” He asked tremulously.
“Oh yes, very much.”
“Well then, hmmm..., yes. Yes! I will show you. I will show it to you the right way!” He grabbed my hand and pulled me back across the bridge. “Come, come all of you out. We do it the right way so Corrine can see it the way it should be!” He shouted happily as he herded us out of the cave.
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