LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXIII

Two days later, Seras and I were sitting in the lab nattering away. I was showing her the plans Mr. Russell and I had drawn up for my garden plot and she was telling me about the new high-power explosive shells they were testing out on “The Baron” which was their nickname for the Harkonnen shoulder mounted cannon she sometimes used for missions. The thing weighed a ton and could blow up a mini from several hundred feet away so I am not sure why it needed even more powerful ammunition but she and Walter seemed to take great pleasure in making the thing constantly more deadly.

So we were sitting there feigning interest in each other’s hobbies, when a snort of disgust came from the lab tech. as he tried to place the contacts on my head for an EEG Dr. Levin had ordered to scan our interactions. “This is just ridiculous!” He said pressing a disc against my scalp.

“Ow!” I said as he tore it off and tried to reposition it.

“What’s ridiculous?” asked Miss Pringle.

“All of this, hair!” He said. “How do they expect me to get a decent contact with all of this hair? I mean just look at this!”

“Ow! Ow! Ow!!!” I said as yanked off two more connections taking some of my hair with it.

“Tricky.” She said.

“It’s a mess is what it is.” He complained. “Now this one is slipping. I’m going to have to redo the whole bloody thing!” He said reaching for my head.

“Watch you language Andrew!” Said Miss Pringle.

“Sorry Miss Pringle.” Said Andrew.

“Ow!” I said. “Now come on!”

He ignored me and reached for another disc.

“Ow!” Said Andrew as Seras grabbed his wrist.

“Gently.” Said Seras. “You don’t want her bald now do you?”

“Hmmm.” Said Miss Pringle.

“What?” We all asked.

“Is it both the subjects that are giving you trouble or just this one?” She asked looking at Seras nervously.

“Just this one.” Said Andrew, removing the remaining discs with reasonable care keeping my body between himself and Seras.

“Well then, perhaps we should shave the area.”

“What?!” I yelped.

“Hmmm,” said Andrew, “I suppose I could target the spots where the connectors meet the crown.”

“WHAT?!”

“Better yet to cut it all short.” Suggested Miss Pringle (have I mentioned that I hate her?) “Then target the connection areas. It’s impractically long as it is and will just keep getting in the way.”

“Perhaps, I don’t know.”

“What? No ‘perhaps’. Just No!”

“Why don’t we ask Dr. Levin’s opinion?” Said Andrew

“No, Dr. Levin left me in charge.” Said Miss Pringle. “I will make the decision.”

“What’s wrong with you people? Stop it!” I shouted.

Andrew started lifting up sections of my hair examining my scalp. “I just don’t know. It really would be more convenient to have it short but I think I can get away with just shaving a few spots.”

I tried to jump up from the table but Andrews fingers were still tangled up in my hair so I was brought up short and forced painfully to sit back down. “Ow!”

“Oh just do it.” Said Miss Pringle with disgust. “It’s not like it won’t ever grow back.”

“Oh dear God.” I said and began struggling to untangle myself from Andrew’s fingers.

“It really is a bloo... Terrible mess with the paste” he said, “and as you say it will grow back.”

“Andrew,” I pleaded, “please don’t shave my head.” Then burst into tears.

“That’s it!” Seras shouted, grabbing Andrew by the front of his lab coat and shaking him so hard I could hear his teeth rattle. “You let go of her this instant!”

Miss Pringle screamed and hit the panic button she had insisted be installed after Seras’ last outburst in the lab and bolted into Dr. Levin’s office shrieking at him to call “Mr. Dollneaz”. Dr. Levin came roaring out of his office brandishing a crucifix and threatening to sedate the lot of us.

Seras snarled with fury dropping Andrew in a heap on the floor. She took a step towards Dr. Levin her eyes flashing a dangerous red. For a moment I thought she might attack him but she instead turned on her heel and charged out of the room yelling for Walter at the top of her lungs, nearly colliding with him as he strode through the doorway.

He took in our unseemly tableau with a single disdainful glance. We all stood transfixed, frozen in place by his stern disapproving gaze. “What, may I ask,” he said quietly, fixing each of in turn with that look, “is going on in here?”

There was a cacophony of noise as we all strived to be the first to tell Walter our side of the story then a defining silence as we all halted under his withering glance.

Miss Pringle was the fastest to recover her wits. “Perhaps I can explain Mr. Dollneaz.”

Walter’s eyes locked on to her like a heat seeking missile. “Please do, Miss Pringle.” He said.

She flushed and cleared her throat. “Well Mr. Dollneaz. This all seems to have begun when ....”

Walter stood listening to Miss Pringle recount the incident with seeming infinite interest and patience but as the story progressed, the line of his mouth grew tighter and his steely eyes grew harder and more dangerous looking. As she spoke his glance darted from Miss Pringle to Andrew then to Seras and myself then back to Miss Pringle.

I had never actually seen Walter truly angry before and I had certainly never seen him loose his temper. I mean he held perfectly still and was in complete control of himself but I swear I could feel menace in the air and a crackling suggestion of ozone permeating the room just waiting for lightning to strike. I was terrified and could only hope that when it let loose, his anger would not be directed at me.

When Miss Pringle had finished, he stared at her blankly for a moment then said, “I see.” He then turned to Dr. Levin and said, “And what is it precisely that you thought to do with that crucifix Dr. Levin?”

Dr. Levin looked down at the cross which was still tightly clutched in his hand. “One has the right to defend oneself.” He said defensively.

“Surely, you did not intend to use that against a member of my staff?” Walter’s voice was quiet and calm, completely devoid of emotion but that hint of ozone was building.

“She was attacking Mr. Young.”

“Was she now?” He asked very, very quietly.

I wanted to leap to Seras’ defence but was too terrified to move. Could no one else sense the danger? The look on Seras’ face confirmed she, if no one else, did.

Walter turned to look at Andrew, examining him from head to foot. “Are you very badly injured Mr. Young?” He asked with polite concern. “I ask,” he continued, not waiting for a reply, “because as one of the four people in this room to have experienced a vampire attack, you seem remarkably unscathed. Usually the results are far more noticeable.”

Andrew, who aside from a rumpled lab coat, was obviously unharmed, reddened under Walter’s scrutiny. He clearly wished to speak but wisely shook his head once and tightened his jaw.

“A relief to us all I am sure. Miss Victoria?”

“Yes Walter?”

“You will please wait for me upstairs in my office.”

“But.. Yes Walter.” Seras glumly squeezed my hand and left the room.

“Ms. Doyle.” Said Walter. “Would you please be so kind as to show us what happens when an untrained person attempts to attack a vampire with a holy relic?”

I stared at him dumbfounded for a moment then slowly reached down to grasp the hem of my shirt.

“We’ve seen...” Miss Pringle began.

“Indulge me.” Said Walter and nodded at me to continue.

I lifted my shirt up to just below my breasts revealing my abdomen and the area where the flag pole finial had ripped into my body. Alucard had carefully repaired my spine and internal organs but had intentionally left a wicked looking scar scrawled across my midriff. A gruesome souvenir of my first encounter with a vampire.

“Ms. Doyle, please tell us what effect, if any, the bible had on the vampire who attacked you?”

“It made him angry.” I whispered. I looked up at Walter but he was not looking at me. He was looking at Dr. Levin. Everyone else was looking at me though. Theirs eyes riveted on my mid-section. I finally had their full attention and found I did not want it. “It made him angry.” I said louder so they could hear.

“And then what happened Ms. Doyle?”

I took a deep breath. “He impaled me with a flag pole.” I said shuttering, the memory of the pain rolling through me.

“And?”

Why are you doing this to me Walter? I thought but he was still not looking at me. “And used it to pin my body to a podium.” I turned my head away not wanting to see the look of horror in their eyes.

“Thank you Ms. Doyle.” Said Walter still staring at Dr. Levin.

I pulled my top back down and stared at my hands humiliated.

“Ms. Doyle is lucky to be alive.” He let that sink in for a moment. “It is fortunate that Miss Victoria choose to exit the room when you confronted her. Had you actually attempted to subdue her with that Papist symbol you would only have served to enrage her further and possibly have provoked an attack with far more dire consequences than a rumpled coat and a bruised ego. One or more of you could have been killed or turned to ghouls and Miss Victoria herself would most likely have had to have been destroyed.”

I looked up at Walter horrified. What had I done? Making such a ridiculous fuss over my stupid hair. I could have cost someone, cost Seras, her existence! All of those conversations we had had about trying to help Seras and I had very nearly caused her destruction. And if Seras had gone berserk, who would have been able to stop her? Alucard? Walter? I glanced down at Walter’s hands and noticed for the first time that he was not wearing his usual white cotton gloves but instead had on thick black leather ones. They seemed oddly familiar but I could not remember seeing him wear them before, then it hit me. My eyes widened with recognition. Those were the gloves he had been wearing in my hallucination in the elevator. The ones he wore when he.. I gasped.

Oh no. Oh dear God no! I choked back a sob. What had I done? What had I done? I might have started this mess but it would have been left up to Walter to clean it up. To finish it. To finish her. Seras destroyed by two people she loved and it would be all my fault. I began to shake uncontrollably.

Walter had turned and was looking at me with concern. “Ms. Doyle?” He said walking towards me.

I could not speak. I just stared at his gloves shaking.

“Ms. Doyle, are you well?” He was now standing directly in front of the exam table where I sat.

I tore my eyes away from his gloves and the terrible images they were conjuring in my mind and forced myself to look up at his face. “Oh Walter.” I choked “Walter I am so sorry.”

“Sorry?” He asked a puzzled frown crossing his face.

“Because you almost had to, you might have had to... I should have just let them! I shouldn’t have made a fuss and Andrew’s hand got tangled and everyone panicked and you almost had to, you might have had to...” I gestured towards his hands.

Walter looked down at his gloves comprehension dawning. “Ah.” He said.

“I’m so, sorry. So sorry. Please don’t be angry with Seras. I should have just let them.” I covered my face sobbing unable to look at him.

There was a soft whisper of movement then Walter cleared his throat and the ever useful handkerchief appeared in my hand. I thanked him, taking note that he had thoughtfully changed back into his usual cotton gloves.

“I am not angry at Miss Victoria.” Said Walter gently. “Far from it. She did not panic. She did as she has been instructed and attempted to exit the situation. Nor am I angry with you Ms. Doyle. No, neither of you are responsible for this situation” He said more firmly.

I peeked up at him unsure. He leaned down a bit towards me and said quite earnestly, “Ms. Doyle, you and Miss Victoria are in my care, under my protection. You must believe that I am sincere when I say I would never knowingly allow either of you to come to harm.” Startled by his tone I looked up into his eyes but the steel there was not cold or angry but a deep truthful conviction. We were wards of Hellsing and therefore in his keep. And Walter took his charge quite seriously.

I relaxed somewhat under his earnest gaze. From all accounts, Walter made a formidable foe and it would be a mistake to cross him but he was always, always in control. I also suspect that, in his own way, he was fond of Seras. They had fought together to defend Sir Integra and this house. I should have known that he would never have attacked Seras based on a lab tech’s hysterical ravings. I dabbed my eyes and smiled up at him. The first inklings of hero worship stirring in my heart.

I also could not help but notice that while his statement had indicated Seras and I were solidly under Walters watchful protection, that umbrella did not necessarily extend to cover the remaining occupants of the room. A fact that was certainly not lost on Miss Pringle whom I am sure, dreamed about Walter whispering similarly earnest statements in her ear under far more intimate circumstances.

I smiled more broadly, even preened a bit under her baleful glare. “Yes Walter.” I said sweetly. Ha! Take that Miss Pringle! Walter likes me better. OK, I know it was beyond spiteful of me but I really, really don’t like the woman.

“Yes, well.” He said blandly. He knew exactly what I was doing (evil butler superpowers apparently include eyes in the back of ones head) and did not quite approve.

“Sorry Walter.” I said contritely. I glanced again at Miss Pringle’s hate filled stare and it suddenly occurred to me that a ruling had yet to be made about my hair. “Walter?” I said meekly.

“Yes Ms. Doyle.” He said patiently.

“Please don’t let them shave my head.”

He raised an eyebrow apparently mildly amused at my predicament. He seemed to ponder, leaving me twisting for a moment, hoisted on my own petard as it were but relented when he saw the rising panic in my eyes. “Why of course we shan’t shave your head Ms. Doyle. What a ridiculous notion. Isn’t that right Mr. Young?” He asked pointedly.

“What? Oh, no. That is, yes Mr. Dollneaz.” Barked a confused Andrew.

“Completely unnecessary. Isn’t that right Mr. Young?”

“Yes, Mr. Dollneaz.”

“And a pity it would be to destroy such a lovely head of hair. Don’t you agree Mr. Young?”

“Um, yes, lovely.” Said Andrew doubtfully surveying the horrid paste filled rat’s nest that was my hair.

I looked up at Walter gratefully, the roots of that flower of hero worship firmly wrapping their tendrils about my heart and squeezing.

“Perhaps if you explained the difficulty, I could be of some assistance?” Offered Walter politely but not really asking.

Andrew cleared his throat and with a cautious eye on Walter, began to demonstrate the problem.

“Ah, yes, I see Mr. Young.” Said Walter sagely. “This particular method would be difficult to use but I have recently read a paper on varying methods for preparing a patient for an EEG and it contained an alternate application pattern for the contacts which may help with your dilemma. If I may demonstrate?”

Andrew nodded, mildly shocked. I personally, was not surprised having first hand knowledge of Walter’s voracious and eclectic reading habits and his seeming near perfect retention of the minutest facts and figures. The man did the New York Times crossword puzzle in ink for goodness sake. Besides, having seen an order for an EEG on my chart, he had, of course, read up on the subject. Walter liked to know things and was always at least one step ahead. It would bode well for any member of Hellsing’s staff to keep that in mind and from what I’d heard they usually did.

Walter looked down at me and said, “If you will excuse the liberty Ms. Doyle.” And before I could say, “what?” he had reached forward and deftly swept my hair up into a ponytail behind my head. I was so startled by this unexpected contact that ½ of me tried to jump to the ceiling while the other ½ attempted to plow through to the floor both actions negating each other and the net result of which was no movement whatsoever. I couldn’t even manage a proper gasp so I just sat there blinking in surprise.

“You see,” said Walter, “if you place your first contacts here and here...” He continued to hold my ponytail with his left hand but was now using his right to indicate the contact sites.

I found this second form of voluntary contact with Walter even more shocking than the first. There was nothing untoward or inappropriate about the way he was touching me. It was in fact, quite clinical. Yet there was something so intimate about the soft brush of his cotton glove against my skin.

“...but also add extra contact points here and here.” He said running two fingers across my forehead to my temple then down behind my ear leaving a tickley little trail. (Mental note: I think I need a boyfriend. Sgt. Marks is kinda cute.)

It was just so nice to have non-painful contact with a fellow human being in this lab. I am also certain a not so small portion of my pleasure was derived from the fact that Miss Pringle looked like she was about to swallow her tongue. ( I never said I was a nice person.) When his fingers moved to the nape of my neck I had to suppress a giggle. It was pleasant but it really did tickle. I bit my lower lip and concentrated on the point where Walter’s red tie tucked so neatly into his vest. It was a lovely raw silk with an interesting herringbone pattern woven into the fabric. Being a very tactile person, I had to resist the urge to reach out and examine it through touch so I turned my focus to his crisp linen shirt and the fascinating garter devices he wore on his upper arms.

“Which leaves you only having to place contacts on two points of the scalp itself,” he released his grip on my hair allowing it to slide gently from his hand so as not to tangle in his fingers, “here and here. If you wear your hair like so, Ms. Doyle,” he said, grabbing my hair into two odd pigtails, “it should create an adequate part for the contact paste. You will still have to wash it out I’m afraid but it won’t hurt as much when it is being removed. Quite simple really.” He said cheerfully.

There was a moment in which all but Walter tried to gather their wits. Not five minutes ago, we were in the midst of a full blown panic with an angry Walter ready to come down on us like the wrath of God. Now he was playing hairdresser and calmly discussing shampoo. It was just too much for us all to take in. Had it been Alucard, I would have suspected a trap, with him there was always a trap but with Walter, I just did not know. What was it Alucard had said about him? Compartmentalized. Walter released my hair with a whoosh and the spell was broken. We all relaxed a bit.

“Thank you Ms. Doyle.” He said stepping back and eyeing me critically. “You will probably want to clean up a bit before our session this afternoon. Why don’t you go ahead now, if that is acceptable to Dr. Levin?” Dr. Levin nodded visibly relieved the storm had passed.

“I will meet you in my office in,” He glanced at his pocket watch, “forty five minutes. In the meantime, I will remain here with Dr. Levin and his staff to discuss if there are any other areas in which I may be of some assistance.”

So the trap was sprung. Fortunately, I was not the victim, only the bait. I wanted to ask about Seras but the steel was back and his eye and I knew he would brook no further discussion. I had been dismissed. “Yes Walter.” I said obediently. I handed him back his handkerchief and scurried from the room.

Forty five minutes meant forty five minutes not one minute more so I had little time to hang about. I grabbed a change of clothes from my room and dashed for the shower. Good thing I rushed because I had to wash my hair three times to wash all of the paste out.