LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXVI

"Playing our Ace are we?"

"Walter?" Alucard turned to him, looking mildly surprised but immensely pleased. "You wish to join us? You wish to join the game?"
"If I must." He said. "Release Mr. Anders and we'll discuss it shall we?"

"Oh Walter." Alucard breathed. "It's been so long since we had a real game you and I." His grin broadened. "Are you sure you're up for it old man?"
Walter's eyes flashed but his face remained totally impassive as if they were merely discussing the weather. "We shall see. Mr. Anders, Alucard?""Playing our Ace are we?"

"Walter?" Alucard turned to him, looking mildly surprised but immensely pleased.  "You wish to join us? You wish to join the game?"

"If I must." He said. "Release Mr. Anders and we'll discuss it shall we?

"Oh Walter." Alucard breathed. "It's been so long since we had a real game you and I." His grin broadened. "Are you sure you're up for it old man?"

Walter's eyes flashed but his face remained totally impassive as if they were merely discussing the weather. "We shall see.  Mr. Anders, Alucard?"

"Oh yes, him." Said Alucard dismissively waiving his hand as if shooing a gnat. Anders collapsed the rest of the way to the ground whimpering quietly. He still looked frightened but he no longer seemed to be in pain. "Shall we?"

Walter nodded and gestured towards the entrance to the cave. His face was an emotionless mask but his eyes glinted with some strange unreadable emotion.

"Oh Angel, you have made me so happy."

"Nooo! Nem. Nem neki! wailed the voice in my head.

Oh my God, what have I done?

How many long years had Walter suffered under Alucard's thrall? Playing his games sacrificing his humanity before finally breaking away only to have me drag him back into it? I knew that look now. It was the look a recovering junkie gives the needle heading towards his arm. A combination of need and revulsion, desire and disgust. It was the look Seras got when she broke down and drank blood. The same look I am sure I had when Alucard whispered to me how delicious he found my fear.

What have I done?

Az én katona. Nem én farkas. Nem újra! Screamed the voice. You will stop this. You will stop this now!

"What stakes shall we play for Walter? My Angel? The Police Girl? I am not certain I wish to give them up. You will have to make it worth my while." He said heading for the exit.

Now!

Damn straight now.

"No." I said, climbing to my feet. It wasn't loud but it was there.

Alucard glanced at me then dismissively turned his back to walk away.

"I SAID NO!" This time the command rocked and pulsed through the cave. Walter, Seras and the men looked startled. Alucard looked annoyed.

"You dare?"

"I dare. No more Alucard. No more strangling me until I almost pass out. No more drowning me, no more rats, no more setting me on fire and most of all, no more threatening those around me. Period."

"Or else what? We've been through this Angel."

You have to mean it. And I did. Every last word.

"Or else I will break my promise to you and to God." He looked as if to say something derisive but I raised my hand and continued. "I will leave. I will walk out this door and take the next flight back to the U.S. and I will never look back. And if you try to find me, I will sense you coming. I will sit in the bathtub and open my wrists and give my life's blood to the bay. I swear on all that is holy, the hellbender and the horseshoe crab will feast upon your 'gifts' to me before I ever allow you to use those I love against me again!"

Alucard pulsed and stretched, tendrils of him rolling like mist over the water towards me wrapping me in a black fog. A score of small, red eyes opened to look at me in the mist and a mouth full of sharp, dangerous teeth spoke. "What makes you think I will let you leave this house alive? Why shouldn't I just kill you or make you into a ghoul?"

I crossed my arms and shrugged. "Then kill me, turn me. Either way, the game is over."

The fog tightened around me growing denser. "Last chance Angel." Said the sharp mouth moving closer.

"I know."

The sharp mouth chuckled as Alucard coalesced in front of me. He brushed the hair from my face then circled his hands loosely about my neck. "No more strangling?" He asked playfully tugging me toward him.

"No."

"But I do so enjoy it."

"No."

He sighed wistfully. "Agreed." He placed his forehead on mine. "But I still get to break your arm then."

"No! No arm breaking!"

"That wasn't part of the deal. You said; strangling, drowning, rats, burning, and that love nonsense. You never mentioned personal injury."

"I'm mentioning it now."

"You can't change the agreement once it's made."

"You do it all the time."

"True. Then I get rats back. It's only fair."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"We could always go back to my killing you."

"Fine." I said disgustedly. I know to quit while I'm ahead.

He laughed and whirled me around to face the cave entrance.

"You see Walter? You see why I adore her so?" Anyone else I would have just killed or called their bluff but she meant it Walter. She meant it! Not a glorious death in battle but her soul lost to damnation all to protect them. To protect you.

She's ready now Walter. You can train her up. Put her in the field."

"To do what exactly?"

"Oh, you'll see." Said Alucard grinning. "You can put her with that one for now." He said waiving in Anders' general direction. "I don't want to risk her on the front lines. Besides, it will serve him right for wanting to shoot her."

He spun me around to face him again. "Ah Angel," He said. "We'll show Walter and the master such amazing things. Things you do not even know yet that you can do. You will call them Angel. You will call them to you and you will free them and you will not be afraid."

I frowned, puzzled. This was the second time he had mentioned my calling "them" but I still had absolutely no idea who "them" was and what I was to do with them once they were there. "I don't.."

"Shhh. Later Angel. It can wait" He said pressing his finger to my lips. "For now your off to bed.

A girl your age should know better than to be cavorting around at all hours drinking and dancing with men of low caliber. Your setting a bad example for the Police girl. She was quite well behaved until you came along you know. Really Walter, you should be keeping a better eye on them."

He Released me after one final bone jarring shake and a playful bruising squeeze (Alucard's notion of play is often that of a terrier's with a rat) and turned to Walter. "Come Walter, let's have a real discussion." He said striding over the bridge towards the exit. "I have such plans. The master, I think, will be pleased." He strode out the exit never looking back but he took one last departing shot at me. "I know your secrets Angel. I know your heart. You have no power that I don't allow you. Push me too far one day and I will destroy you. Useful or not."

Walter paused before exiting, eyeing me, weighing me again, reassessing. He looked up to Capt. Burnadett who had come up behind me with my robe and was helping me into it.

"You will of course wish to discuss this Captain. If you will allow me to see to Alucard first?"

"Oui." Said Burnadett.

"Would you please be so kind as to see Ms. Doyle and Miss Victoria safely back to their rooms?"

"Of course." Said Burnadett, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. Some unspoken message seemed to pass between them.

Walter nodded. "Thank you." He said. He bowed slightly to the room then left to "see" to Alucard.

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXV

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Demanded Zelig.

"Oh." Said Seras. "Oooh, I get it."

"Get what Victoria?" Asked Stewart.

"See, I didn't notice it at first cause I can always hear Corrine when she's singing so it didn't even occur to me."

"What?"

"That you shouldn't"

"What? Shouldn't what? Spit it out girl!"

"That you shouldn't be have been able to hear her from the outer caverns. I mean I could hear her of course because I'm, well, you know but you guys..."

"...should not have been able to hear her through solid rock." Finished Stewart for her.

"Exactly. I noticed a slight shifting in the direction of the sound right about the time you guys started joking about being serenaded. I just thought it was the cave's acoustics but it was.."

"The intercoms!" Said Stewart slapping his forehead. "I see."

"But without the antenna how...?" Asked Zelig.

"Don't you get it? She doesn't need the antenna. She's tapping directly into the system somehow. She is the antenna. Well, transmitter actually."

"Like a wireless amp? Huh, strange." Said Zelig sounding more curious than concerned. "How are your doing that Corrine?"

I didn't answer. I was too busy glaring at Alucard.

"No, you still don't understand! It's not the volume it's her singing." Said Anders. "He's done something to her so it gets into your head and glick..." Anders eyes widened. He seemed to be choking on his words.

"You bore me little man." Said Alucard. "And you insult the master. I find these both unacceptable."

"Stop it." I said.

He ignored me.

"Get out of my mind." Anders whispered.

"Your worthless existence means nothing to me. Your sad little secrets even less, almost amusing in how pathetic they are. Barely worth my time. Still, Angel, you played your piece..."

Anders began shaking violently. I grabbed his arm shoving him behind me placing myself physically between him and Alucard.

"Leave him alone!"

"Temper temper Angel."

"I mean it."

"Oh, you always mean it Angel. But it's not sincerity I want from you, it's capitulation."

"No!"

"Very well." He shrugged.

Anders gasped as if in pain. "Get out of my mind!" He shouted collapsing to his knees and clutching his head.

A strange thought flashed through my mind 'you can stop him but you have to mean it.' I shook my head confused. I threw my arms about Anders' shoulders and tried to shield him as best I could but he just shoved me away moaning "Get out. Get out." over and over.

"Let him go! Let him go or else...!" 'You have to mean it'.

"Or else what Angel?" He asked sarcastically.

I paused. Or else, what? What leverage did i have? None. What bribe could I offer beside submission?

To submit to Alucard was to submit my soul. To hand him my core, the very essence of what made me still human over to his will. To be his creature totally and no longer be Corrine.

No. Submission was not an option.

'Not offer, threaten'

I don't understand.

'Only because you don't want to. Only because you're too afraid.'

I frowned, thinking hard.

Alucard shook his head and tisked.

I opened my mouth hoping for something to say but it was Burnadett who spoke interrupting our deadlock.

"Release him." He said calmly.

"Another piece on the board Angel?" Alucard looked at him incredulously. "Le Gaul parle ?"

"Yes, he speaks." Said Burnadett sauntering to the edge of the pool. "You will release my man."

"Will I?"

"Yes."

"This one looks to be more fun. Shall I play with him a bit longer?" Sent Alucard winking at me. "And if I refuse?"

"Then there is trouble. A great deal of it."

"From you, toy soldier?"

Burnadett nodded smiling thinly.

"From us." Said Marks. He was crouching over Anders protectively but looking directly at Alucard.

"All of us." Said Zelig as he and the others fanned out along the pool.

"You will forgive me if I find your threat to be an empty one."

"I think you will find us not such soft prey as you are used to."

"You know you can not win hired man?"

"Probably not. But we can mess you up real bad."

"This could be fun." Mused Alucard. "I might even let you go back for your guns."

"Oh, we have our guns." It was just then that I noticed all the geese were armed. "As you say, we are hired men. It is our job to be ready."

Alucard laughed delighted. "Ah mercenary, you do entertain."

"Stop it Alucard!"

"What was that Angel? Was that capitulation I heard?"

"Why are you dragging them into this?"

"You dragged them into this Angel, the moment you took off that robe. You thought to shame the Master? You shame yourself! You placed the pieces on the board, I merely play them"

"This is not a game!"

"It's always a game and everyone is a pawn. Best you remember that Angel."

He looked at me intently. "You can stop this you know. End the game with just one word."

"That word being?"

"Master."

"Never."

"Come now Angel, you're already on your knees. You don't even have to mean it. I just want you to say it front of the Police girl and Walter and all of your new friends."

I shook my head. If I said it he would make damn sure I meant it.

"Just one little word Angel and it will all be over."

But it won't be over, I thought. It will never be over. He will just use your love against you again and again until there is nothing left. And who will he threaten next time? Seras? Your son?

You can stop this, stop him but you have to mean it. You have to be prepared to ... I closed my eyes unwilling to finish that thought. Unsure if I was willing to make that sacrifice. Because I would have to mean it. He would know if I was bluffing.

"Don't you want to save them?"

"Son of a bitch." Said Sherman.

"Bastard." Whispered Marks.

"Steady." Said Burnadett. "You use us against Chanson vampire? This is not, nice."

Alucard snorted.

"Enough of your games. You release my man now."

"Or?"

"Or we do our job and kill a vampire. Your choice."

"Oh yes?" Alucard said literally pulsing with pleasure. I am not sure if the others saw it, but for a moment I caught the barest glimpse of his true nature. Seething, boiling blackness, barley contained by Hellsing's restrictions and not even remotely human. "Well in that case.."

"Alucard," Came Walter's voice cutting calmly through the tension. "Perhaps you and I could continue this conversation in the hall." I was so busy fighting with Alucard, I had forgotten Walter was still there.

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXIV

“Illusion,” I rasped “not real.”

“The hell it was!”

“Not real.” I said, as much to convince myself as him.

“No? Just look at the state of you girl,” he said gesturing towards the deep lacerations on my leg “illusions don’t do that!”

“It’s not that bad.” I said cringing at such an outright lie.

“What? Are you kidding me? It’s down to the bone. You’ve cut her down to the bone you bastard!”

“Please,” I begged Anders, “I’m OK, really.”

“Stand Down Anders” Said Burnadett.

“But look at her Capitan. We’re supposed to be killing these monsters not giving them people to play with!”

I heard several muttered sounds of assent from the men as they took in my injuries. The room was turning hostile.

“Please.” I whispered “Please don’t.”

“What the hell kind of operation is this?” He shouted at Sir Integra. What’s wrong with you?”

“You over step yourself Mr. Anders.” Said Walter.

He turned to Walter and asked sadly. “Why are you letting him do this to her?”

“Interesting piece to place on the board Angel. Albeit a stupid and weak one.”

“Leave him alone.”

“Enough!” Said Sir Integra firmly. “Mr. Anders, this is my house and my charter. If you do not care for the way I run this operation, there is the door. None will stop you from leaving. Otherwise, you will never question my authority or dedication to this cause again or I will show first hand what pain and cruelty truly are.”

She turned to Alucard. “Don’t think for a moment I don’t know that you are sticking your oar in here. You had better show some results soon or I will be taking your little toy away from you.”

“Walter.”

“Ma’am?”

“Sort this and report to me in the morning.”

Walter nodded.

She turned on her heel and began to stride away. She had just made it to the entrance when Alucard’s voice carried across the cave.

“Ask yourself this. How is it that you heard her singing well before the antenna was hooked up?”

She spared Alucard one brief glance, her face completely devoid of emotion, then nodded to Walter. “Sort this.” She said and was gone.

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXIII

“I’m sick of these illusions.”

“Are you sure it’s an illusion Angel?” He asked as a dark blob detached itself from the blackness and began slouching towards me.

“What else could it be?” I asked a bit frightened. Something was not right. It was moving closer now, small, dark and vaguely human shaped, humping towards me on uneven limbs.

“Your punishment Angel. Punishment for you insolence penance for your failure”

It was much closer now I could begin to make out some detail. It was human or had been at some point I was pretty sure. The body was badly damaged and portions of its limbs seemed to be missing. Its head hung down between its shoulders bobbling loosely as if its neck were broken. It dragged itself towards me, using its forearms to pull its ragged, useless legs along the gravely bottom of the pool. A strange trail of ichor floating behind the body marked its passing.

“Reach out to it Angel. Reach out with your mind, tell me what you feel, what you ‘see’.”

I shook my head not wanting to obey but unable to look away, drawn to it as much as it seemed to be drawn to me. Something was tugging at my mind, calling to me, crying piteously for my attention.

It halted a few feet in front of me. It was small, no larger than a child. Its skin was pale, bloated and bruised. It appeared that something or some things had been nibbling away at the areas exposed by its tattered clothing stripping away flesh exposing bone and muscle. I felt my bile rising as I stared at the small, wormlike remnants of fat still clinging to its flesh waiving gently in the current.

“Don’t you recognize him Angel?”

I bit my lip concentrating. Something nagged at my subconscious like a shiver running up my spine but my mind kept batting it away before I could grasp it. “I…don’t…” The head caught the currant, floating up so that I could now see what was left of its face. Waves of horror crashed though me I gasped out most of my air. “No, it’s not possible.”

“Of course it is.”

“It’s not real!”

“Isn’t it?”

“No! She would never let you.”

“Wouldn’t she? He’s just a little souvenir.”

“It’s a lie! It’s not real! Not real!” I began to panic kicking away at the hand on my ankle, my foot connecting with the soft flesh, digging into the skin tearing it away from the bone. “What did you do? What have you done?” I sobbed losing what precious little air I had left. Flesh and blood began to mix with the ichor clouding up the water but I could still see it through the gory chum. Still see those sad eyes begging me for help. Still see the single hand it had left loosely waving in the current back and forth in a cruel parody of that day in the theater. I squeezed my eyes shut but I could still see him.

Somewhere, far away I could hear Seras screaming my name begging Alucard to stop. My head was spinning I was close to blacking out.

“Turning our back again Angel? Still not going to save him?”

My eyes snapped open black fury replacing all fear. I let loose a torrent of rage at him hurling my anger and frustration back into his face. He laughed at me. Laughed! A stream of profanity spewed from my mind. Words I didn’t even know I knew. Words that were not even in English and that woman from the first night was there again in my head shrieking along beside me.

“There you are.” Sent Alucard thoughtfully. “I was wondering when you would show up. Perhaps we should...”

Something hard slammed into me. Rough cloth grated against my back as strong arms wrapped themselves about my waist tearing me away from those fingers, away from that thing and propelling me to the surface.

As we broke through, I was slammed by light and sound. Seras was still calling my name but I couldn’t see her or answer. I was shoved up against the side of the pool and I felt hands under my arm pits lifting me up out of the water. Seras was clinging to me sobbing my name over and over. I tried to tell her that I was OK but I couldn’t seem to breathe. Something landed beside me with a wet slap. I heard a muffled curse as I was torn from Seras’ grasp and thrown over a wet knee. Strong hands slammed down on my back driving that knee painfully into my diaphragm. Water spewed out of my lungs and, for the first time in far too long, air, sweet blessed air, was sucked in.

Another thump, a bit less rough this time, and more water spewed out. I took a deep shuttering breath to say thank you and promptly threw up more water. This process was repeated two or three more times before I could finally breathe without a corresponding purge. I was still coughing and sputtering though so I simply nodded my head to indicate that I required no further thumping the knee collapsed and my rescuer and I landed in a tangled heap on the ground.

I closed my eyes for a moment until the dizziness passed then turned to see whose lap I was sitting on and ended staring into the terrified eyes of Anders. “What...” he whispered softly, “What the hell was that?”

LETTERS FROM HELLSING XXXII

The pool was deeper and further across than I remembered. As I began to swim, my now unbound hair started to tangle itself under my arms. So much for the graceful exit I thought to myself as I reached over with my left hand to pull my hair out of my armpit. The errant strands obligingly responded by wrapping themselves about my wrist. It seemed to be getting longer. I angrily tugged my wrist free only to have my hair whip around and begin wrapping itself around my torso pinning my other arm to my side.

“Angel”

I growled with frustration trying to swim with one hand.

“I’m not finished with you yet.”

I’m finished with you. I thought kicking my legs and trying to ignore the hair wrapping around my waist.

“Are you listening to me?”

“No.” I thought back at him as I tried to pull away the hair which was now clamping down my thighs.

“You stupid girl, you think you’re being clever? You think you can just walk away?”

My hair was now down to my knees its weight began dragging me down.

“Do you know what happens to little fishes who turn their backs on the shark?”

I stopped struggling and allowed myself to sink hoping to push off the bottom and propel myself to the surface.

“This time Angel, I won’t just break your arm.”

My feet hit the gravelly bottom; I bent my knees to push off.

“This time, I’m going to break you.”

I pushed off shooting towards the surface only to be brought up short with a painful jerk.

“Got you little fish.”

I looked down to see what was holding me. A pale arm was thrusting out from the gravel its thin, bony fingers were wrapped about my ankle anchoring me to the bottom of the pool. I tried to pull my leg out but it only tightened its grip squeezing painfully. This was not good.

“Let go of me you sick bastard!”

His chuckle rolled over my mind like fly filled honey. “When you ask so sweetly what can I say but no. I have you where I want you Angel, why should I let go?”

“Let go!”

The hand squeezed still harder its purple black nails digging into my flesh.

“Never Angel, I will never let you go. Not until I am bored of you or you are dead. But I might let you out of the water. Just admit that you are nothing, that I am your master. Submit to my will and live”

“No!”

“As I see it you have three choices; Submit, die, or grow a pair of gills. Don’t you just love choices?”

“I am not a ghoul! You are not my master!” I sent kicking furiously at the arm.

“That just leaves you with two choices.”

I was rapidly running out of air so I forced my self to calm down and think.

“How are those gills coming Angelfish?”

“It’s not funny you know.”

“It’s hysterical from where I’m standing. Come on, you can do it Angel just split those oxygen molecules away from the hydrogen. “

Son of a…

“You know Angel, not everything down here is dead.”

I froze, pulse pounding in my ears. The lights seemed to have gone out along the back wall. I squinted into the darkness straining to see. A shiver ran down my spine as I felt, rather than saw something moving toward me from the far end of the pool.

And now back to our regular programming

And now back to our regular programming.

A RANT

And now, a brief time out from our regularly scheduled programming for a wild and unfounded accusation.

WHO DID IT?????!!!!!!!!

I KNOW IT WAS YOU!

A large portion of Corrine's diary has gone missing and a certain, so called, former Associate Professor Evil (like that was ever a real title). has recently been spotted skulking about the D.C. metro area, plotting with varied Sith lords and mooching food at asundry holiday parties.

I even heard he was filching goodies from his dear auntie's (the really cool aunt no less who buys him great gifts like socks and educational reading materials! [so I've heard, ahem]) Christmas stocking.

So now the next several entries have gone missing (along with my glasses, you little so and so) and we were just getting to some good bits with bloated dead bodies and blood and stuff! But no, someone went and took them didn't they? And now my several million concerned readers will not know what happens next and they will all cry! Plus, my notes were in there and I tell you what, that Corrine's handwriting is harder to read than Sanskrit and I CAN'T READ SANSKRIT! I swear it's like trying to translate clay cuneiform tablets.

I don't know what these things go for on the black market but could it really be worth the oceans of misery you have generate?

Huh?
Is it? Huh?

I just hope you are pleased with yourself.

And this had better not be some stupid attempt to join the ELE because I've seen several of the application videos and they all had far more evil plots than this and were set to music even. So there.

Unless....

Unless of course you were paid by the Hellsing organization to steal them in which case oh how tediously common criminal of you.

Well, either way, I know who your mother is and after she finishes laughing she will punish you severely. Take away you evil pop-tarts or something. And just see if you ever get anymore socks from me!

That is umm.... that is what I would say if I were your aunt (the real cool one)...if I were her, which of course, I , ahem , am not. Never met the woman...but I hear she is real cool so stop stealing her candy!